Sept. 27, 2021

The Weekend Wedding Warrior, Boundaries & The Power of No!


In this episode Kristina sat down with The Weekend Wedding Warrior, Maggie Heely, to discuss mindset, managing your expectations by communicating them, setting boundaries for yourself and your business so you can better serve your clients and yourself... and learning how to say no when something is not the right fit!

Need to learn how to set boundaries with your clients and for yourself? Tune into this episode to hear one wedding professional’s no nonsense approach to setting and sticking to her boundaries… and finding the strength to say no!

Do you have specific work hours? Have you created times you are in the office to return calls and emails? If you answered yes, kudos to you! Are you communicating these work hours and when you’re available for returning messages to your clients? If not, you should be! Listen to this episode to hear some easy ways to institute boundaries that will allow you to take care of your clients and yourself in the best possible way.

Expectations that are met or exceeded feel good! And the ones that aren’t met or exceeded feel bad! Did you know you can manage your expectations by communicating them? It’s really that simple. Listen to this episode to hear Kristina talk to The Weekend Wedding Warrior about how, after much trial and error, she learned how to manage her expectations.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND setting boundaries is communicating your expectations… and when you communicate them clearly, you are better able to give your clients the best version of you!

Tell us how you have set boundaries for yourself in your business and tag us on Facebook or Instagram @theringtheblingandallthethings

Connect with the host:

Kristina Stubblefield - www.kristinastubblefield.com social media @kristinastubblefield 

ABOUT OUR GUEST:  Maggie Heely - The Weekend Wedding Warrior
Weekend Wedding Warriors are the logistics experts. They don’t plan your wedding for you, but they do execute it on your behalf. That way you, your family and friends aren’t stuck working and can enjoy your wedding to the fullest! So, you plan the perfect wedding, and we’ll make sure your special day runs smoothly.

Maggie Heely started Weekend Wedding Warrior in 2010, not long after her own wedding where she realized that after all her careful planning there was no one to pass the work on to on the wedding day. Maggie has a unique background. She was awarded a Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Northwestern University’s prestigious Family Institute in Evanston, IL in 2006 and is currently a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in the state of Kentucky. No, she won’t give you therapy at your event, but she does bring a unique crisis-management perspective and calming energy.

Maggie is a Louisville Business First 2016 40 Under 40 and was named Woman Business Owner of the Year in the Small Business category by NAWBO Louisville 2014.

She was married in 2008 to her husband who is a Major in the U.S. Army Reserves. They have a daughter, Aurora, and son, Knox.

Maggie believes you should be able to both plan your wedding and enjoy your wedding day. Let the professionals at Weekend Wedding Warrior handle the logistics of your wedding so you can focus on what’s really important…Getting Married!
http://www.weekendweddingwarrior.com

Transcript

Kristina Stubblefield  0:00  
I am so excited for you to hear this episode. I sat down with the weekend wedding warrior, Maggie Healy to discuss mindset, managing your expectations by communicating them, setting boundaries for yourself in your business. So you can better serve your clients and yourself in learning how to say no when something is not the right fit. 

Welcome to Marketing Monday on The Ring The Bling And All The Things podcast. My name is Kristina Stubblefield. And for over 15 years, I've served as a marketing strategist and business coach. Also, I was once a wedding vendor. In these podcast episodes, I'm providing bite sized, digestible marketing solutions, and information that can be immediately implemented, and make an impact on your business. Now, let's dive in to this episode. 

You all are in for a real treat today. When we talk about business, you always hear me talk about boundaries, setting expectations that it's okay to say no. And I have made a new friend. I hope I can say that for sure. I've made a new friend. I was at a recent event that she put on it's actually a vendor social, and she does those throughout the year. And I'm speaking of Maggie Heely, thank you so much for coming in to be a guest. I really appreciate it. Yeah.

Maggie Heely  1:31  
Thanks for having me. I'm flattered. I've been wanting to be on your podcast for a while.

Kristina Stubblefield  1:35  
Well, and guess what we hope to have her back to talk about wedding planning as well. But I said at this event, when we were talking, we sunk right into boundaries. And I was like, oh, my goodness, would you come and be a guest on a marketing Monday podcast? Because I feel like it will resonate with people coming. having a conversation with an actual wedding professional that has implemented what I would consider good boundaries from our conversation. I don't want to use the word strong boundaries. Sure, but good boundaries for yourself. Yes. And she was like, absolutely. I love talking about that stuff. But I think we're gonna dive into a little bit more. So first, I would like Maggie to introduce herself. And tell us a little bit about her business. So take it away.

Maggie Heely  2:23  
Yeah, of course. So I'm Maggie Healy. I'm the owner of weekend wedding warrior, which I started almost 12 years ago now here in Kentucky, Anna area. So I live in Louisville, and I moved to Louisville, not knowing a single person. I had been doing weddings in New York prior to that, and I moved here. And I realized like, oh, man, there are so many different planners, but I know no one, it was kind of this wonderful thing for me to walk in and see all of the planners kind of lined up next to each other just like a brand new engaged couple what right, like not knowing anyone, and I didn't really understand like, well, who does what, whose strength is what? And my strength is always in logistics. Over aesthetics, I guess I would say so when I started thinking about like, Well, what do I want my business to be? And at the side note, I was a marriage and family therapist before that as well. So I had this other background completely. And I was like, well, but I really wanted to do weddings. I just love the logistics of it. I love the helping of it.

Kristina Stubblefield  3:23  
What a good fit. Yeah, I

Maggie Heely  3:25  
know. But basically, the whole purpose of weekend wedding warrior started, you know, uncanny Lee as from my own wedding as someone who plan their own wedding, but like they had a handle on planning their own wedding. But then when it got to the wedding day and the wedding week, everyone was still asking me 1 million questions. And I was like, wait a minute, when do I get to be the bride? This should be someone else's job. So I made it my job. And that's why we're called weekend wedding warrior. And I say we a lot because I'm very thankful and grateful that I have a team now. So I've grown throughout the years, adding people as we go. And so now there are five of us who are lead coordinators with weekend warrior.

Kristina Stubblefield  4:10  
Okay, great. Thank you so much. Because I felt like people really needed to know your background. So I'm glad you went into that or sorry, I just like go No, that's good. And like we mentioned before we started recording, a lot of times wedding professionals get in that industry or start their careers as wedding professionals because of passion. Of course, yes. Not necessarily because they're like, I could make a lot of money at that.

Maggie Heely  4:34  
Oh, no, no, not because they know anything about business, right? I even think when I went to school to be a marriage and family therapist, most therapists go into practice with themselves or they start group practices, which is their own kind of a business just like wedding business. And you're like, Oh my god, I know nothing about business. I know nothing about how to start a business, how to run a business, how to make my business run smoothly, how to make boundaries around my business. So it's been a lot of trial and error for me, but I'm thankful I feel like I'm Currently in a place that feels really good,

Kristina Stubblefield  5:03  
that's amazing in 12 years, kudos, that's a lot. Any year that you remain in business for yourself is something to celebrate. And I don't think a lot of people realize that. Yeah,

Maggie Heely  5:15  
I know my anniversary, and I buy myself a gift on my weekend wedding more your anniversary every year. That's

Kristina Stubblefield  5:19  
awesome. That's awesome. Well, one of the first places I'd like to start in our conversation is something you just talked about. You have a team now? Yes. When I work with wedding professionals, I try to ask them, what's their goals? You know, because I really feel it's important to have that conversation. Where are they at in their mindset? And a lot of times the feedback I get is, they're doing their best day to day. Yeah, when you first started, did you feel like, I'm going to get to a place where I'm going to have a team?

Maggie Heely  5:52  
No. Is that the wrong answer?

Kristina Stubblefield  5:55  
The best part, when you own your own business, there is no row.

Maggie Heely  5:58  
I really, truly didn't i don't think i knew i was i was that person who was like, I'm not sure what is I remember, oh, I'm never gonna forget this. There was a very well known and wonderful makeup artist. That was I met, and she had this moment, kind of like looking me up and down when I was brand new. And she's like, well, how many weddings Do you want to do a year? And I was like, like, I was like, 25. And she's like, Oh, that's, that's a lot. Like, I just made up a number, like off top my head. And then I started thinking like, Oh, these are questions people are going to ask me, I guess I need to answers to these. What? And then that kind of like prompted. So it was interesting how, in the moment, it didn't feel like the kindest question by way it was brought to me. But the more like, it was a question that I needed, you know, that someone that needed to ask me,

Kristina Stubblefield  6:46  
a lot of times people don't write down on paper or whiteboard, I'm a huge fan of some whiteboarding. Right. How much they want to make in a year. And then based on how much you charge per event, how many events do you have to do? What's

Maggie Heely  7:01  
the matter, minus taxes, all those taxes,

Kristina Stubblefield  7:04  
correct. And the expenses to run your business? Of course, because there are expenses, no matter what industry you're in, or present. So I try to say to them, first of all, you want to have the big, hairy, scary goal. I'm a big fan of that. But also, especially if you're just starting out, or you've never done this in your business, I feel like sometimes you need realistic goals as well, whether it's quarterly, twice a year, yearly, but because I feel like people need to realize they can reach that they can obtain that you're proving to yourself that you can do it. And a lot of it comes down to mindset. Sure. A lot of it trusting yourself, right and your relationship with yourself. Yes. And knowing that Oh, if I will, what do I need to adjust in my business to to level up or to move the needle, however, people like to word it? And sometimes people aren't charging enough? Yeah, there, there's often this is could be a whole episode on its own. We could talk about pricing all day, right? But it is so important to put those thoughts on paper. And the reason I say paper, sure you can type it in the computer. But there's something about writing that down. And looking at that, and dividing those numbers out. That it's just the connection between pin paper and your brain. That is always been important to me. So goals for sure. And I think people believe in their mind, it's just me, this is how it's gonna be. There is no other way. And you're probably gonna have to come back because I feel like this could be a topic on its own. I know personally, I struggle with letting go. Sure. Yes. And my team can tell you that I would like them to answer I have come a long way. Me and my husband, Josh have come a long way, especially in the last two or three years. But it's not that I didn't trust in my team. Sure. It was just something about not doing everything. Is it going to be done the way I want it? Is it going to be done the way I like it done? Are we but in the end, if it's best for the client, and it gets them to the finish line 100%

I feel like in my struggle was a lot with mindset and mental. I mean, it was really that it wasn't that I didn't have a great team. I have an amazing team. We talked about that earlier. And I know you said you do as well.

Maggie Heely  9:37  
My team is the best. Absolutely. You guys if you're listening, thank you.

Kristina Stubblefield  9:41  
I hope they're listening. Yeah, they're the leaders on the podcast.

Maggie Heely  9:45  
But I work for them as much as they work for me like let's be honest. So,

Kristina Stubblefield  9:49  
and I think it's about teamwork. That to me is what is so important. And I just wanted the listeners to realize even if you are a mighty group of one Hmm, there is opportunity. And you are part of that story that you are a team of one. And now you do have a team, right? Yes. And that is opened up probably a whole other world of opportunity for working in your business versus working on your business.

Maggie Heely  10:18  
Yes, exactly. That's exactly what it is. Because if, if I had to do every single wedding that weekend, wedding warrior coordinates, if I was that lead coordinator, for every single one of those weddings, I would have no time to work the business, which that is my main job, right that my job is to run weekend wedding warrior, my coordinators jobs are is to wonderfully take care of their clients in a way that can't be matched. So I find that it's very hard to do both. Well, 100% of the time, right? So it's either if you're a powerful one member team, then you have to block that time off and schedule that time in a way of when are you taking care of your clients when you're taking care of your business? or divide and conquer? If you're a multi person team?

Kristina Stubblefield  11:03  
Perfect. This is almost like it's scripted. Because you just segwayed us into boundaries. Oh, okay. Yes. You're a natural at this. Geez, thanks. I just like to talk. Oh, my goodness, we weird. We may be here for a while. So okay, you just segwayed us into boundaries? Especially if you're a team of one. Yes. Boundaries. And when we say boundaries, we're not meaning just block scheduling. That is not at all

Maggie Heely  11:32  
what we're talking so many different elements. I

Kristina Stubblefield  11:34  
think boundaries. Yes. So you did you have boundaries when you first started? No, I don't think how quickly did it take you to get there?

Maggie Heely  11:44  
Oh, my goodness, lots and lots of trial and error. I think of like, what makes sense of what feels good. what feels right. I think a lot of it is like, you know, as woowoo as it sounds is like being in touch with yourself. And when are you confident? And when Are you uncomfortable? But uncomfortable for growth? And when are you just uncomfortable? And then you're not doing your best work? Right? So like kind of checking in with yourself. Anytime you reach a challenge, is it a this is a growth challenge or is a no, I'm just not going to be able to do my best work with this challenge. And then creating a boundary around that to set you up for success to be able to do your best work.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:18  
I love the points that you're making here. Because you can adjust your boundaries, all your husband's grows even through the seasons. And we're talking a lot about business. But as you personally change or as life changes for you and your family as

Maggie Heely  12:34  
children, oh my goodness, my boundaries had to like really shift.

Kristina Stubblefield  12:39  
Okay, so let's hop to let's say, what your What are your boundaries? Now? Will you share those because we talked a little bit about this at

Maggie Heely  12:49  
your event? Sure. And I'm probably missing some I should have written them all down. But my favorite is your hours. Oh, yeah, I have specific hours that I work on specific days. So and the way that I communicate those hours very clearly is in the signature of my emails. So in my email signature, you will see typically at my desk, Tuesday through Friday, 9am to 3pm weddings on Saturday, closed Sunday and Monday. So that right there, when you email me and I email you back, you know that if you're emailing me back, it's on a Saturday, I am not going to get back to you till Tuesday. The next thing I do is it's in my voicemail. So when you call my cell phone number, and you get my greeting, it says my office hours there. Also, every single weekend that I have a wedding I put up and out of office so that you don't have to guess so if you're, if you're emailing me for the first time on a Saturday, it clearly states, I'm at weddings on Friday afternoons and Saturdays. I'm out of the office Sundays and Mondays to spend time with my family. I'll get back to you on Tuesday. So it's always very clear and multiple places,

Kristina Stubblefield  13:55  
I'm gonna assume that there might be something in your contract or when you first meet with a new client, do you go over that with them.

Maggie Heely  14:02  
I don't have it in my contract. But I have a how to work with weekend wedding warrior guide, and then it's discussed there. And then the other thing that I really like people to know is because we are a multi coordinator company, I'm the owner and I'm always the first person that you're going to talk to if you call weekend wedding works and want to make sure it feels like a great fit for the service that we provide. But then you're going to have a conversation with the coordinator that's actually going to be your wedding coordinator before you even sign a contract. So I am very clear then that like this is your lead cord. This is your person right? This is your wedding warrior. This is the person you're going to go to with all of your questions. I'm always here in the background if you need me, but here's who you're going to go to with your wedding questions.

Kristina Stubblefield  14:41  
That is awesome. And I have talked to people recently about setting the expectations that fits right in there. And I have even talked to them about having a sheet if you're meeting with a person. That is this is how I operate my business or this is what to expect, however, failed.

Maggie Heely  15:00  
those expectations up for eyes key key key key key because if you have an expectation and it's met or exceeded, you feel good. If you have an expectation and it's not met or exceeded, you feel bad period, I was just talking to a bride yesterday, who was disappointed in how a venue manager got back to her and the timing of it. And they said they would get her a contract by this day and time and it was later, like, just all these little nuances. And she was like, I'm scared. I don't want to book this venue. But I love it. What do I do? And I was like, I think it might be just the difference of managing your expectations, right? Like, this particular person does not work on the same level expectations as you do. But they didn't state their expectations, I was able to tell them, here's my expectations of that person from working with them. But I think if they had just leveled at like, We're extremely busy at this moment, you are a priority to us. But we'll get that to you by the end of the week, right? Give vague, broad break, if you don't, if you can't meet it, don't give a time.

Kristina Stubblefield  15:57  
The other thing you've touched on is the power of out of office, or email signatures, yes. People tend to not use them. I would like to say over the past few years, I've seen it more and more in the wedding industry, people utilizing signatures. And I'm not just talking about links to your social media, or here's a link to my website. But communicating things that are really important inside your business. So that you're setting that expectation, and you're not letting the person now, that could be their first impression, right of your business is it's been four days, and I haven't heard from them. But they also emailed you on a Friday morning you were out for a wedding. But if they would have just gotten an auto response Exactly. That would have changed the game. It could mean the difference in booking the client, or no, of

Maggie Heely  16:51  
course, because if you don't get back to me, how do I trust you? Right? But if I get an automatic response, I you know, some people aren't just aren't thinking about it. We we as wedding vendors live in our own little universe of working set every Saturday. That's not necessarily typical for the rest of the population. So they're like, I mean, I still get asked, Hey, can you meet with me on Saturday? No, I mean, I'm a wedding coordinator. I work. I work weddings on Saturdays. But I think there's just a kind way to like, explain that and not assume that somebody is going to know that.

Kristina Stubblefield  17:22  
The other thing too is a lot of times engaged couples. They've never been married, you know, they've never dealt with wedding professionals, or maybe their mom or their mother in law, or grandmothers or some friends or helping them. Sure. But it could have been 20 years ago that that person got married in a very different, right, how much is it changed? And, you know, I'm a technology person. I love technology. It's awesome when it works. But we're in a digital age where you can Facebook message you can dm and Instagram or WhatsApp, you can message in that text messaging, email phone calls. I mean, there is a plethora of different communication tools, it can be very overwhelming. Yes. And that takes me into the next thing that you mentioned to me. Yes. And it has stuck with me. Oh, I got it. I got I have to tell you, I had this conversation with you that I work with Sharon and have for a number of years. But text messaging Yes. How convenient? It is. Yes, it is an awesome, convenient form of communication. But Maggie is effective when it comes with to your wedding.

Maggie Heely  18:41  
It is not effective for me. No. Is it effective? For some people? Maybe I think that's where I like that boundary feeling like does it feel comfortable? Does it feel like I can do my best work for you. When you text me? Can I do my best work for you?

Kristina Stubblefield  18:54  
If you're in the grocery store or shopping at a store? Or like if it's at a wedding? Yeah, if

Maggie Heely  18:59  
I'm at a wedding, like my brain is fully dialed into that wedding, like I mean, I don't even text my husband back. You know what I mean? Like he knows unless it's an emergency like I don't, I'm not devoted to that event. 100% that's where all my attention is. So if you text me, it's gone from my brain. It's like and then you know how you're sometimes like, click it and then you can't mark it as unread, which why the technology isn't there to mark. A text is unread? I don't understand that. But not every topic. Yeah. Somebody's Apple get it together. But anyway, or how is there not out of offices for text messages? That's another one where

Kristina Stubblefield  19:34  
if you haven't replied to the text, right, within a day or two days, pop it back up in my right. Give me something we may be on to something I'm not

Maggie Heely  19:42  
sure. Well, I mean, surely that's a sad topic. But the point is that if they're at 7pm, I'm given a kid a bath typically, like I'm not able to text you back in a way that gives the information that you need, why I love email and email only for communication with Mike lines is because it is in my, that it becomes my to do list, right, I can check it and then mark it as unread, which tells me I still need to respond to it. And then when I am sitting at my computer, not on my phone, not on my tablet, not on my couch, right? Like at my desk at my computer, then you have my full attention and I'm able to pull up. A lot of times it's timeline questions, it's wedding questions, I'm able to pop that up, pull it up, okay, yep, it's this, this, this, and I give clear, concise answers. And every time I tell myself, Oh, I'm just going to shoot that one email real quick, from my phone at 7:30pm. I mess something up. I mean, it's like no joke. It's like that sign from the universe telling me like, Don't do it, don't do it. Follow that you know, your boundary. Stick with it, stick with it, because that's where I do my best work. That is where I can take care of my clients in the best possible way.

Kristina Stubblefield  20:49  
Well, and there's so many tools inside of most email systems, especially if you use Gmail G Suite, or outlook. There's so many other tools to flag something to store it right to color code it right to save it for records. No, yeah. And I guess my question, when we first started, this conversation is really geared more to the wedding planning process. Yeah, in that involves other vendors, DJs, musicians, catering, bakeries. The list can go on and on when it involves the planning or specifics for your big day. In less, your vendor really embraces text messaging, among all the other stuff. And it's a lot to keep up with, with what's out there it is, I just loved the fact that you stated, that's where you do your best work. And what you want to provide to your client in the response, no matter what they're asking or needing from you. You want to be 100% focused, not kids watching TV or helping them take a bath.

Maggie Heely  22:02  
I don't want to be making dinner and thinking about weddings, because I'm going to mess something up.

Kristina Stubblefield  22:06  
Well, the other thing too, is we can go back to impressions or reflection of your business. text message can be very hard to read. And what I mean not read the words on the screen, but you text back. Yes. That there? Yes. Right. Yeah, leave me alone. There it is. Oh, gee. Yeah. Um, or Yes. You know what I mean, it is. There's a lot to think about other than just it being at your fingertips. Right? And I think a lot of times, and this is not all wedding vendors. But we've been through unprecedented times. Hell, we're still there. Yes. Yes, ma'am. We are in? Yeah. And we don't have to mention a whole lot more about it. But when you go, I don't remember a year with very few events. Or you're a business that's just starting out. Forget COVID. Sure, yeah, you're new, you're scraping and Sure, yes, I'll do that when I'll do this one, I'll take on this job, this job, that job. But you're setting yourself up. Because those events are 12 months out could be 18 months out depends on what industry, you're in six months out. If you make a change in your business, you're you've already signed these contracts, that

Maggie Heely  23:23  
change isn't implemented for a year and a half, sometimes over a year, sometimes, right? Like your pricing or whatever, right? That you're not making, you're not seeing that return.

Kristina Stubblefield  23:31  
It's not a store where you've just upped a price. And it takes effect immediately. And I'm not even talking about pricing, rob people. And I think that's it's tough for people, when you talk about boundaries, they're just trying to do day to day, but when they see the time it can provide them with their family. Or, okay, I can make more money because I'm freed myself up here. I can take on another event. Let's just say you're not trying to free up more time for yourself, you're really trying to grow your business in one of our fashion. Boundaries. People think, what if it costs me this client? And it's so much more than just that one client? Because who cares? That one client I don't want to say who cares? That sounds like insensitive? Let me rephrase. Yeah. Okay. It could be one client, right? Which I

Maggie Heely  24:29  
get from a small business owner saying no, or losing a client hurts in a different way.

Kristina Stubblefield  24:36  
But it can open up an opportunity of five others because exactly you said no, or that one wasn't a good fit. You knew it wasn't you went with your gut. Oh, god, I'm

Maggie Heely  24:46  
still working on that one. The power of No,

Kristina Stubblefield  24:49  
and I try to talk about that quite a bit. Because even for me, it's scary. Because what are they going to go and say, are they going to post a bad review? Who do they know that I know What if they were gonna round three people to me and right?

Maggie Heely  25:04  
Yeah, what if I had done that one and all those bridesmaids were great. But

Kristina Stubblefield  25:08  
what it comes down to is the most important thing. And that's you and or your business, however you want to look at it. And the power of No, I try to talk about what is the positive side? Or what are the possibilities? If it's no to that one item, right? Yeah. And that is a thing that I think maybe all business people struggle with until you get to until you've walked that walk. And then you've seen Yes, while by saying no, I got five additional hours with my family, right? Or I was able to go and only work a half day I had, you know, I had

Maggie Heely  25:51  
to rebrand this part of my business or working on my social media. And then that brought me this right or I was able to hire someone to do that for me. And then that did this. Yeah. And another example that just pops into my mind is so we're wedding day coordinators, we are not full service wedding planners, we do not offer full service wedding planning, which if you're not in the wedding industry, that sounds like semantics that might not make sense to you.

Kristina Stubblefield  26:14  
You work with them for a week. So we start our

Maggie Heely  26:17  
the way that I explain it my the way I explained my businesses, it's like a recipe. It's like a sugar cookie recipe. Okay, here are the ingredients we need to make this cookie. You can't leave out that salt. Otherwise, it tastes funky, right. So like you have to have Here are the ingredients that we have to have. We can add some things on like some people like chocolate chips, some people like oatmeal raisin bread, but we have to have these ingredients. It's not time sensitive for us. It's not day of month of week. That's not how we explain it. We just explained here are the steps or Here are the ingredients we have to have to make your day successful. So that's walkthrough, floor plan, timeline procession, vendor confirmation rehearsal day of those are our ingredients. So I'm losing my train of thought because I like got into my spiel,

Kristina Stubblefield  27:01  
but you allow you have communication with them, or I can't remember what you told me before for that, that week of their wedding. Or

Maggie Heely  27:09  
they get more than that. I mean, someone can email us after they contract with texting. I'm sorry. Oh, that may have overlapped. Sorry. Yes. So texting is out. Like for example, the mother of the bride for this weekend's wedding. So two days away. She started texting me just yesterday, during business hours, because she needed a quick response. No problem. I will tell. I mean, yes, of course of the week of the wedding, I will text you back. No problem. Okay. If you're a year out, I'll email you back. Right. And just to kind of set that yes. But I think what I was going where I was going, is that work day of coordinators. We're not full service wedding planners. But when someone asks us, oh, can you do a little bit more? Can you do this planning? Can you plan this for us? Can you do this for us? It's hard to say no. Right? It's hard to have that boundary of No, this is the business model this because can we plan a wedding? Sure. Yes, we can. Can we do that? Yes, we can. But the business is branded and made to be coordinators. Not planners, since weekend wedding. aurier. Right, named it as such. So what I have found is when I send those referrals when I'm like, you know what, no, I'm not going to be the best fit for you. Could I do it? Sure. But I'm not the best fit for you. So and So right now, I've got those names that I think are great planners, so and so is going to be a great fit for you. Well, guess what? Then they send me business back. Right? Like I respect their business model, I send them business, they send business back to me. So having that boundary and that strength to say no, gives you Yes. Right? Because that gives them the strength to do the same thing. Because could they coordinate a wedding on a weekend? If they had a free weekend? Sure. They could. But it's not their special but is that what they're right? Is that their strength? Is that what they're known for? Is that what they want to be branded for them? Is that what they want the reputation attack? I don't want to be in that necessarily that lane, right? But they could and if you're in a mindset of scarcity, you might be like, Well, I better just take whatever I can get, right? Like whatever business I can get, even it's not my specialty, my specialty. But if you think about a mind, it's more of abundance and fit than sending someone business is only going to bring back more to

Kristina Stubblefield  29:12  
you. Absolutely. That Very well said thanks. Well, I got there somehow. That's okay. And that's what I wanted wanted to convey to people is it's it's not a one one size fits all.

Maggie Heely  29:28  
No, it's there's enough for everybody to

Kristina Stubblefield  29:31  
I work with some of the some people that are in the same industry, even some outside the wedding world, honestly. And every person that I work with, their business is different. And it's okay how you run your if you run your business different just because somebody does these 10 things doesn't necessarily mean you need to do those 10 things correct and I even have those conversations with people about marketing just because One of your competitors, does these 10 items does not necessarily mean that you're going to produce the same results if you duplicate what they're doing right,

Maggie Heely  30:10  
right, like we're talking about wedding shows, was is a great example of that's not a great fit for my business and my business model.

Kristina Stubblefield  30:16  
I've kind of proven that. Wow, you say no to wedding shows? I

Maggie Heely  30:20  
say no to all wedding shows. Yes. Okay, I waited 20 years to get there. Okay, now I do.

Kristina Stubblefield  30:26  
Let's talk just a little bit about that. So give a disclaimer. You like wedding shows,

Maggie Heely  30:30  
I think wedding shows are so helpful to so many people for so many different reasons. They're helpful for engaged couples, they're helpful for business owners, they can be very helpful for me. Well, so first off, I used to do wedding shows all the time. I go to any wedding show. Great. But

Kristina Stubblefield  30:48  
just something you want most of more on Sundays to add that to your weekend list or Exactly,

Maggie Heely  30:53  
exactly. But Exactly. So my once I had kids, and my boundaries shifted of like, oh, man, I don't see right now my children are in school Monday through Friday, I don't see them. But on Sundays, right for a full day. So if I go to a wedding show, I just lost that day with my family. But honestly, that's not even the reason. The reason is that I track everything. I love a good spreadsheet. That's my favorite. Oh, yeah. turns me out

Kristina Stubblefield  31:17  
Excel, Excel, or Google Sheets. Google fan.

Maggie Heely  31:21  
Yeah, I love Google Sheets. I love my Google Drive folders. Everyone with weekend weddingwire has their own Drive folder, every wedding. So anyway, I always track like, how many inquiries did I get from that show? And how many turned into business? So not just he how many turns into how many turned into a paying client? Right? And are there some things that you can't track like so and so heard of me from? So like, there's other things I get? There's

Kristina Stubblefield  31:46  
a percentage that sure. And they could have heard of multiple places? Definitely.

Maggie Heely  31:50  
So and I actually think the multiple places is where the key is creating an actual customer. But, but I eventually learned that like, after all that tracking that I would maybe get one wedding out of three wedding shows, like directly from that only. And that's a lot of time. And it's a lot of money for me to be participating into all these shows that are not necessarily returning that investment. So that's where that's why I've made that decision in that boundary. It's an educated decision. And it's a boundary for my

Kristina Stubblefield  32:24  
personal time right there educated decision. Yeah, the power in the numbers.

Maggie Heely  32:28  
Oh, yeah. And then also I have the reason when someone says to me, cuz I feel guilty, because I'm a people pleaser. So I know that you mean,

Kristina Stubblefield  32:35  
you don't want to be in my wedding Show. I'm not having one. But you don't want to buy No.

Maggie Heely  32:39  
Right? Like then you feel like, Oh, I'm so sorry. And I have that feeling still, like there's friends who are asking me to do their wedding shows, and I'm like, or venues that I love working at. So I don't want to be on anyone's bad side. I don't want to insult anyone. But it's not about insulting someone,

Kristina Stubblefield  32:53  
it's because produce results for your business. And you could be spending that time with your family. And

Maggie Heely  32:58  
if I can show you that spreadsheet, because I'm a nerd. And it's in my Google Drive folder.

Kristina Stubblefield  33:02  
Do you don't I mean, well, and a lot of times I tell people they're like, I don't ask where that what you don't ask how they heard about you, or you all they went to my website? Well, well, that's it. What did they see you at our show? You know, you're not trying to pull their teeth, you're just trying to get down to just dive a little deeper in your business.

Maggie Heely  33:22  
I've even gone as far as like just being really honest. When someone says no, they don't want to work with us, for example, like they sent us an email. My favorite the line is always we decided to go in a different direction, which means they hired someone else. So I track that. But I go the next step, I email them back and say, thank you so much for letting me know, I really appreciate that. I'm so glad you found someone who feels like a good fit for you. If you have any feedback for me on why we weren't a good fit, it just helps me learn and grow as a small business owner.

Kristina Stubblefield  33:51  
Absolutely. And do you get responses to that? Sometimes? responses are valued, yeah,

Maggie Heely  33:57  
it's pricing or this or that? Whatever it is, it's like, Okay, that makes sense. And then I can track that too. Right? And then that's helpful. It's all in for me, all the information is helpful.

Kristina Stubblefield  34:08  
Well, and I tell people, it is worth this a little bit of effort, because those numbers don't lie. They do not lie. Well, I

Maggie Heely  34:16  
mean, we get emotional in our businesses, right? We feel like they don't like us because blank, but emotion because emotion and logic are not buddies, right? Like you have one is high and one is low, and then vice versa. So we need as small business owners because we are so invested. We are our businesses. It's absolutely right. As much as I am like, oh my businesses, we can do more here. It's not about me. It is you Everyone thinks it's Maggie healy's business, it's Maggie Maggie's business, Maggie's thing, right. So it's like we're so invested in that, that we have to take that emotion out of it by end. That's what the numbers are for, in my opinion.

Kristina Stubblefield  34:51  
And let's be realistic, if you like doing wedding shows, right? Because you like being social. Yeah. And you don't get anything off of it. And you've got 567 $100 and you've to spend, yeah, go for it. Absolutely. It's your business. Well, you get to decide, especially when you're

Maggie Heely  35:07  
a product. I mean, you get to show off your stuff or do things you don't normally get to do you get to so social media that I mean, there's other reasons right to do shows and be able to show that product and be able to like, amplify it.

Kristina Stubblefield  35:19  
There's also boring ending, right? You know, if, especially if you're new, and a lot of when I talk to people, I did the show, and I didn't sign a single contract. Well, first of all, right, you went in with the mindset that you were going to sign contracts that day, right. But guess what? They didn't know they've never done. There's not, there's not a place you can go to wedding professional. How what to expect at a wedding show for wedding profession?

Maggie Heely  35:50  
I think you should give that broadcast. That sounds like a podcast. Oh, my

Kristina Stubblefield  35:53  
goodness. I am. I do hope to have somebody on as a guest. That's a trade show or a booth expert. Because I think there's a lot in there. Yes. Because, and we could this as a whole.

Maggie Heely  36:07  
No notes down because I don't want to forget to talk about something. Well,

Kristina Stubblefield  36:11  
I mean, this could be a whole nother podcast, but you get out what you put in in a wedding show. And I like what you said it. For some people, it's a great fit. But does it produce results for your business? Because you're investing in your business? If you just want to go there and hang out and you've got that money to do so do whatever you want. But if you're looking for, is it smarter to pay $500 to set up a booth at a wedding show? And know in your numbers you don't know typically book someone from that wedding show. You can do a lot with some digital advertising with 500. Oh my goodness, I'm not even. But it's not the same for everyone. No, it's

Maggie Heely  36:57  
not. It's no. And the thing that keeps popping up in my mind, too, that we haven't talked about at all. But and this could be a whole nother pot. We've got like 18 podcasts we need to do apparently. But vendor relationships if you're new to the industry, and you go to a wedding show, and you don't sign a contract with a client, but how many handshakes did you do with different vendors? Because you can get there

Kristina Stubblefield  37:18  
early and set up so that way you had time to go round before the show started. Not when people are traveling.

Maggie Heely  37:24  
That's the worst or the door out in the middle of it.

Kristina Stubblefield  37:26  
I've had that where I'm like, it's different if you're next to them, and I don't have anybody but like if I'm talking

Maggie Heely  37:31  
to a potential customer, but that yeah, I think you need to do like etiquette on wedding show. Okay, podcast. But the point is that like so for me, in my business from all of my tracking and my years of my spreadsheets, vendors are where I get the most of my referrals. My vendor relationships,

Kristina Stubblefield  37:51  
is that why maybe you do a vendor social? Ah, weird.

Maggie Heely  37:54  
That's exactly why I do a vendor social and, and actually how it started how vendor social started and evolved was it used to be a Thanksgiving party at my home. Right? So I used to have every vendor who referred me business that year, I would invite them to my home and give them like a thank you party. Not on Thanksgiving. But you know, around Thanksgiving, then I started doing a Valentine's Day cuz I love the vendors. Right? Then I had two children, I only have two, but it's very overwhelming to me. And the idea

Kristina Stubblefield  38:22  
well, when I have my two nieces and or I have two nephews, oh my god trying to clean up my house and return them. Thank goodness, right. I love them to death. But

Maggie Heely  38:31  
I can't turn mine. But I decided that my home is no longer an appropriate place to have the party because it causes me too much stress. So that's when I started being like, well, let's do this outside. Like let's do this in other places and just have a call of vendor social doesn't have to be people that have referred me specifically. It's just a place for vendors to get to know each other because creating those relationships with vendors. First off, it's lovely, because we're coworkers and a lot of us are teams of one working by ourselves with ourselves and have no one to talk to about it. So it's just nice to have someone to call and be like, what am I doing? How do I do this? How have you done this? What do you what works for you right to just have and have a cocktail of people and

Kristina Stubblefield  39:08  
100 things to do. You're not at a wedding where Okay, I'd love to talk to you and I got to go to shit

Maggie Heely  39:13  
see me when it's like dinner time for the vendors. I'm like, shop shop shop shop shop. Okay guys, I'm gonna go check on the brighter you guys good. Okay, great.

Do you need anything grill? And like then, you know, for a moment on my heart, your kids. But, but I'm not like listening in the same way.

Kristina Stubblefield  39:27  
Well, what you're mentioning is we did Ellen Fox's show.

Maggie Heely  39:32  
Oh God, beautiful show. Now, that's a good example of a friend of mine that I want to say yes to, you know what I mean? But then

Kristina Stubblefield  39:38  
she's gonna be on the podcast here soon as soon as we can get her scheduled. But one thing that stuck out in my mind was when I first got her information about setup times and things like that. She asked you to be set up. I believe it was an hour early, because she did and I don't want to mess this up like appetizers and maybe champagne or Moses. For the vendor vendor, how

Maggie Heely  40:02  
lovely Yeah,

Kristina Stubblefield  40:04  
it was you were set up, you had a little downtime. And I felt like the vibe going into the doors open. People were more relaxed. Yeah, it can be stressful when you're getting there, you're setting up and you've only allowed yourself a little window to go to the bathroom to get something to drink before the doors open, right. But it was just nice to be able to walk around to see other booths, meet people that I didn't know. And I've been a part of the wedding industry here for a long time. And there were people I didn't know. But I also got to see some of their work. It wasn't just Oh, hi, you're so and so. Right. It

Maggie Heely  40:40  
was like, Oh, my God, this is beautiful. Great idea. And

Kristina Stubblefield  40:43  
I don't remember a show before that, where something like that had been done. Right. And that to me, just really made an impression. Yeah. Because it wasn't just about the people attending the show. The couples, right, it was also about time for vendors to meet each other and kind of network a little bit totally the but the thing about your vendor social is you just come in, it's a relaxing atmosphere, talk, mingle. And it was, it was a lot of fun. Honestly, it was very laid back.

Maggie Heely  41:20  
It's very mellow, which like me, I think it's it's no agenda.

Kristina Stubblefield  41:25  
There is so much business out there. Well,

Maggie Heely  41:27  
and here's the thing, too, is like the thing that you're that we haven't said yet. But it's so true.

Kristina Stubblefield  41:32  
There's so many more we haven't said go ahead with what you got. But

Maggie Heely  41:35  
is that this time that you're talking about at that wedding show the time and we're talking about at the vendor social? Is it for the vendors, yes. But you know what, who is also for his her clients? Because you know what, now I know a guy who does a 360 degree photo booth. Cool. I didn't know that, that that existed in Louisville. And now not only do I know the guy and I have his card, I got to do it, you see how it's super fun. But you also got your resume, you know how it worked? Right? I can recommend it. I know how much space so that and also from a wedding planning perspective, I know how much space it takes up. So I know what kind of area can go in and not. So like, as much as it's for me as a business owner, it's for my clients so that I can better serve them, right? You're saying at these wedding shows, you see something beautiful made with blah, blah, blah, right? Pampas grass, I don't know. And you're like, Oh, I know, so and so has that, because I saw it. And it's beautiful. And they do great work. And they're more of this aesthetic than this.

Kristina Stubblefield  42:26  
Of all industries I've worked in, I have to say the wedding industry is so much built on relationships. And I've worked in I've worked with clients in many different areas. And those relationships, a five minute conversation can turn into so many opportunities. Definitely. And that's something that if you're new, or you've never thought about it from that perspective, take time to network with other wedding professionals,

Maggie Heely  42:59  
it's the best thing I did for my business. And for me personally, it made me more comfortable to be who I am at work. Does that make sense? And then to be able to, like grow my business, and through your repeat customers? That's who the vendors are.

Kristina Stubblefield  43:15  
I cannot believe we've almost went 45 minutes Stop it. So you're, you'll come back in for another marketing Monday, right? Yes, we will have to do this, like so many times a year, because I talk about these topics a lot. But I think it just brings a complete different perspective. When you're in this industry day in and day out. And you've implemented some of this stuff in your own business, you know, the good, the bad, the indifferent in making these changes, but you also see the other side of it, like they use those changes, those adjustments may not have been the easiest to get through. But it's the best damn thing you did in your business.

Maggie Heely  43:54  
Oh, I mean, if I hadn't done them, I would have burned out and I wouldn't be doing my business anymore. And that would affect how many people? I mean, we have 26 weddings in September in October alone. So yeah,

Kristina Stubblefield  44:06  
and that's why I try to say, especially with COVID that was going on and everything that these engaged couples need wedding professionals, they need you, if you're listening to this, do what you can to really keep your head above water from a standpoint not only in your business, but outside your business, because people need you your services or need and

Maggie Heely  44:33  
if you don't have boundaries to recharge yourself, right like view the cliche of like you need to charge your battery to give to others. And if I every Sunday, you're working on wedding show, and then you work again on Monday and then you do a wedding every Saturday. When are you recharging. So my boundaries are set up so that I can recharge so that I can be the best possible business owner and best possible wedding coordinator to my clients.

Kristina Stubblefield  44:57  
Well On that note, I've even said to some Some of the clients that I work with with coaching is once a quarter you need to give up a weekend. And it just nothing Friday, Saturday, Sunday, nothing where you can if it sit and watch TV all weekend lifetime homework, if that's your alley or watch nothing but sports or go to a park, go camping, go out of town. Whatever works for you as little or as much. You You don't realize what you're going to give back to yourself. But also your client clients, yes, by allowing yourself that room to just decompress, recharge, as you mentioned it and you're going to be better for yourself, your business, your family, your clients. And you

Maggie Heely  45:43  
know what if your clients don't get that, then they're not the right fit for you.

Kristina Stubblefield  45:47  
They are not your ideal client. Yeah, and it's okay, it's okay if they're not your

Maggie Heely  45:51  
ideal client on your first phone call guess what in a year and a half on their wedding day there's probably still not your ideal client is probably still not gonna feel good. It doesn't feel good from that first step.

Kristina Stubblefield  46:00  
Absolutely. For anybody that wants to connect with you yeah, wedding professionals that are listening listening. You can absolutely follow myself the podcast or Maggie on social media visit our website will you share with them that contact information of

Maggie Heely  46:14  
course or website is weekend wedding warrior calm, and we're on Instagram or Instagram excuse me at wedding Warriors

Kristina Stubblefield  46:20  
The only time you messed up in saying anything Instagram. That's okay. We call it i g you want to do that? For sure. The gram the gram. The gram is what he was. He took some pictures today's I'm sure sure. Yeah, those out there. Oh, yeah, I

Maggie Heely  46:32  
already posted your headphones you already

Kristina Stubblefield  46:34  
did. Well, also, if you're listening to this, and you want to see us on video, hey, oh, we totally forgot about that. I told you what happened. You can see videos of our guests on the ring doubling and all the things on our YouTube channel. I love doing this part because it's real. It's not scripted. We're not reading off screens. It is just candid conversation. In some people don't may not enjoy listening to a podcast, they may just want to see us and they can do that. Or they can share it with others. So thanks, everyone listening, Maggie, I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for coming in. This is really giving back to other wedding professionals and I appreciate you being willing to come in and do that. That means a lot so I hope to have her back but she will also be back soon to be on a wedding Wednesday podcast episode. We'll get that scheduled here soon. So thank you for listening. Make sure to hit the subscribe button or share us with your friends and family. Until next time everyone stay safe.

Thank you for tuning in to this Marketing Monday episode of The Ring The Bling And All The Things. If you would like to get notified of upcoming episodes, make sure to click the subscribe or the Follow button on your favorite podcast platform. We welcome any feedback from topic ideas to questions you may have. You can visit our website for previous episodes, or to send us a message just visit theringtheblingandallthethings.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Maggie Heely

Weekend Wedding Warriors are the logistics experts. They don’t plan your wedding for you, but they do execute it on your behalf. That way you, your family and friends aren’t stuck working and can enjoy your wedding to the fullest! So, you plan the perfect wedding, and we’ll make sure your special day runs smoothly.

Maggie Heely started Weekend Wedding Warrior in 2010, not long after her own wedding where she realized that after all her careful planning there was no one to pass the work on to on the wedding day. Maggie has a unique background. She was awarded a Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Northwestern University’s prestigious Family Institute in Evanston, IL in 2006 and is currently a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in the state of Kentucky. No, she won’t give you therapy at your event, but she does bring a unique crisis-management perspective and calming energy.

Maggie is a Louisville Business First 2016 40 Under 40 and was named Woman Business Owner of the Year in the Small Business category by NAWBO Louisville 2014.

She was married in 2008 to her husband who is a Major in the U.S. Army Reserves. They have a daughter, Aurora, and son, Knox.

Maggie believes you should be able to both plan your wedding and enjoy your wedding day. Let the professionals at Weekend Wedding Warrior handle the logistics of your wedding so you can focus on what’s really important…Getting Married!