Feb. 10, 2021

Don’t Be A Donkey!

Don’t Be A Donkey!

In this episode, co-hosts Kristina, Mike & Sharon talk about the do’s and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT’s of being a wedding guest.

Don’t Be A Donkey! Tune in to hear discussions about wedding horror stories and how to avoid being a DONKEY of a guest. Think of this episode as The Wedding Guest Guide for Dummies. Hey! Maybe you should invite all your wedding guests to listen!

Guests showing up late to your ceremony! Guests getting drunk and sick at your reception! Guests taking floral centerpieces and cake without asking! Guests not RSVP’ing and then show up with others who weren’t invited! Have your friends and family tune in with you to this episode so everyone gets educated on how to be a good wedding guest!

Show some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. by sending back your R.S.V.P. Hear from the wedding professionals why RSVPing is so important for the planning of a successful event. 

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND/LEARN/DISCOVER/FIND OUT: 

  • DISCOVER - the do’s and the ABSOLUTELY do not’s of being a good… scratch that! GREAT wedding guest!
  • UNDERSTAND - Why RSVPing is so important and affects everything from meals, tables, chairs & linens to florals and more.
  • FIND OUT - How to avoid being a DONKEY of a wedding guest.

Share your wedding day guest stories with us. Tag us on Facebook or Instagram @theringtheblingandallthethings 

While you’re there, make sure you follow us @theringtheblingandallthethings so you can see behind the scenes where me, Mike & Sharon will take you from engagement to your wedding day and beyond with The Ring, The Bling & All The Things 

Transcript

Michael Gaddie  0:00 

Don't be a donkey. Tune in to hear discussions about wedding horror stories and how to avoid being a donkey. Have a guest

 

Kristina Stubblefield  0:09 

guest showing up late to your ceremony, getting drunk and sick at your reception. Not RSVP and then showing up with others who weren't even invited. Think of this

 

Sharon Rumsey  0:19 

episode is the wedding guest guide for Dummies. Maybe you should invite all your wedding guests to listen. We're talking long and hard about showing some REM sbct

 

Kristina Stubblefield  0:30 

you got engaged. Now what? Happy? Yes, joyful time, of course, stressed and overwhelmed. 100%. Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to the ring, the blink and all the things where we will get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. We'll cover all things from yes to I do's and all that happens in between. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie. And Sharon Rumsey with over 50 years of wedding experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now, let's get started with this episode.

 

Hey guys, we're gonna talk about fun wedding. Y'all got something to share for this episode before we get started?

 

Michael Gaddie  1:38 

Well, we did have a good wedding this past weekend. We did and it was at the Derby Museum. Churchill Downs, great family. The decorations are beautiful.

 

Unknown Speaker  1:53 

And talk about the decorations sharing what was beautiful.

 

Sharon Rumsey  1:56 

So Mike and I did get to share a great wedding this past weekend. What made it beautiful was this was honest to God, the sweetest family I think I've ever worked with. Both sets of parents were amazing. The bride and groom were amazing. She got married at Santa Elizabeth of Hungary church. It was you know, of course right in the middle of trying to accommodate COVID and the church was amazing to work with and we made it safe and we made it beautiful. And then we moved on to the Kentucky Derby Museum like Mike said, and um, yes, his decorations were beautiful. And one of my favorite memories from that wedding is the best man was the kicker for the University of Louisville football team. So when the bridal party got introduced, without warning, the wedding planner first he took the bouquet from the lady he was escorting it and punted it all the way across the reception. And flowers flew everywhere. What a great memory though,

 

Michael Gaddie  2:58 

honestly. And you said you were you couldn't believe it happened, but I think it's hilarious. Well, I wish I was there to see it.

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:03 

We got the video back and I was able to send it to Mike and show it to him. And it's the funniest thing you have ever seen.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:10 

I bet that's memorable. I

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:11 

guess cuz this kid was he was not kidding around. He there's a reason he's a college kicker.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:16 

Wow. So the decor talk. Let's talk a little bit about the duck or Mike.

 

Michael Gaddie  3:21 

Well, they didn't. They didn't champion anything. I mean, they they went and they wanted something that she had dreamed of. And I mean, I feel like we accomplished it. You know, I mean, and she was a beautiful bride.

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:36 

She was gorgeous.

 

Michael Gaddie  3:37 

I mean, she was absolutely picture perfect. From the time we got to the church till even the night when we got there to pick everything up. I mean, she still looked amazing.

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:49 

She really did know exactly what she wanted. When we went to our floral appointment, she had a ton of pictures. And Mike took what she had dreamed of. And then kind of like times 100 she, one of the things that she lost with her COVID restrictions where she was going to have a huge head table and have like 20 people at this head table and she knew exactly how she wanted it laid out. Well, we couldn't do that. With social distancing. We weren't allowed to have that head table and I thought it was gonna really upset her. This bride like she just rolled with the punches. She was like, you know, I just want to get married, make it as pretty as we can make it. So we decided to go with a sweetheart table. And it's one of my favorite things that I've ever seen at one of the weddings it it had flowers that cascaded off the front of it and all the way down into the floor and then kind of huddled on the floor. So I was able to take a few minutes with her. Just she and I it's one of my favorite things to do with my brides and we walk through the reception space before anybody gets there. And she saw that and she just started crying. You know, she thought it was so pretty, and she appreciated it so much?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  5:04 

Well, in some of the things that you're talking about COVID, of course, has affected a lot of things. And I think coming back to the statement you made just want to get married. And I think if people hold that close to their hearts, the rest of the stuff, yes, some of that stuff is being affected a lot, and has been for many months. But at the end of the day, it's about being married, every change that I discussed with her, you know, and we had to change a lot of things. We had to go to a plated dinner, we had to make some changes at the bar. But every change that I spoke with this bride about, she would just say, I just want to get married. She took it in stride. Yes.

 

Michael Gaddie  5:41 

And you know what most of our brides that we've got right now, that's where they are, that's where they're at. And actually, you want to say it's not a good thing or a bad thing, but just coming back to where they just want to get married. And then they're still having fun, and they're not really worried about the little details. We're worrying about the details for them, right. But they don't have to worry about the details. And that's what I think all of this COVID stuff that's been going on. I think that really in a way burdens them, but it helps them get through the whole situation. And that better.

 

Sharon Rumsey  6:18 

Yeah, we were able to do some pretty unique things with this wedding, too. We couldn't have the cocktail hour in one of the ballrooms at the Derby Museum like she had wanted. So I was able to set down the Derby Museum was amazing. And I was able to negotiate with them. Since we couldn't have everybody in one room, we had to spread cocktail hour out through the museum. So that was not something that she had paid for or anticipated getting to have. But her guests were able to go through the museum and see all of the exhibits, which actually they loved. A lot of her family was from Tennessee, they had never been here before. So that was really cool. And then there's a 360 degree screen at the Derby Museum. And when I did my tour, I'm like, Well, hey, if we're going to have guests out here, let's put this to you. So I asked for permission to play a PSA a slideshow on it. And we were able to, she sent me some pictures. And I was able to get a slideshow that played on that the whole night. And it was just such a big hit with guests. And you would have thought that's how we plan it all along. And that

 

Kristina Stubblefield  7:23 

really brings us to I think a word for 2020. Everybody who's using it pivoting pivot pivot to quote, yeah, exactly. And I think that's taking it in stride, having some unique things that weren't initially planned, you can still make that dream a reality. So we're really talking about making your dream a reality No matter if it's a small, intimate wedding, or larger scale. But one of the things that we haven't really talked about is, the guests are part of this day, they're part of this event. And unless you attend weddings every week, or on a regular basis, it might been a while since you've attended one. You're all being awful quiet. Let's dive into a little bit. Like how to be a good wedding guest. I mean that there's some things here that we can talk about. And to make that special day into reality. Your guests play a pretty big role into that.

 

Michael Gaddie  8:25 

Well, the one thing that jumps right into mind with you saying that are starting off with that is RSVP. RSVP to a wedding is one of the most major things that I see every week. Because everybody, the bride and the family has until two weeks before to give me their final count. It's always the last minute for somebody to say, Hey, Mike, I planned on 200. But right now we've got 250, then they call me three days later, no, now we're up to 185. So I mean, sometimes I think that people don't understand what RSVP means and the importance of it,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  9:06 

especially with what's going on

 

Michael Gaddie  9:08 

well, even with what's going on or not what's going on because they have to pay. If they're paying for a meal. I mean some meals cost anywhere from 50 to $150 a plate. And if they've put their number in for 200 and only 150 show up, look at the money they've spent because of that,

 

Sharon Rumsey  9:27 

as a planner. It's one of the most important things for my job. Because just like Mike said, you know he needs the numbers about two weeks out because that's when he's going to order florals. Well my job as a planner is to make sure he gets all of those numbers but I also most weddings that I am a part of have a team of about 15 vendors that's about what we average on a wedding team. And each one of those vendors is going to need a count. So if I have a guest that doesn't RSVP, it affects not only my floral, it affects my catering. They're going to pay for guests. It's not going to be there. It affects my linen count. It affects how many tables I have, it affects how many chairs I have. So I think people don't realize how important it is. And one thing that has has helped a little, is although we do still send out the paper invitations most brides do anyway. And wedding websites now have a way for you to RSVP as well. So we've made it easy. So it just takes a second to either put your name and mail that car back in our to go to the wedding website and RSVP on there.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  10:30 

One thing too, I think that when you receive that invitation in the mail, there's been a lot of thought put in to who they've invited. And I think sometimes that can get passed over sometimes. But being respectful of the people that have invited you, if you can't be there, make sure to fill out that RSVP or let them know that you can't you really appreciate being invited. It just doesn't work out. whatever the circumstances are. Just remember the thought that went into you being included in there, because it's not just it's not just an invitation, it's saying, we want you to be part, they're saying

 

Sharon Rumsey  11:10 

you're important enough to us that we want you to be here and be part of our celebration. The other thing about that is if there's someone whose name is not on that invitation, they are not invited.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  11:23 

Ooh, that's a good one. So let's talk about that a little bit. Now, let's Okay, important. Repeat

 

Sharon Rumsey  11:28 

a lot of My Brides, they'll call me and they'll say, you know, so and so called, and they want to know if they can bring their girlfriend, or they want to know if they can bring someone. And that's really hard for me as a planner, because those calls usually come in a couple of days before the wedding. So let's back up for a second. So a person got an invitation made out just to their name. And they are contacting the bride or groom, saying Can I bring a plus one? Yeah. And people like that, you know, I just can't say it enough. If your name is not on the invitation, you're not invited. And it always happens to the bride literally a day or two before the wedding when all the numbers have been turned in and the seating charts done. And, you know, honestly, that answer should be no, you cannot bring someone

 

Michael Gaddie  12:20 

Well, I've got to give you a little example that happened to my sister and I we had a 50th wedding anniversary. My mom and dad had never been married. They had been married but not in a not a big church wedding or anything.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  12:34 

I was gonna say we're gonna need a little

 

Sharon Rumsey  12:36 

clarification like that might be another episode.

 

Michael Gaddie  12:39 

Anyway, we we had a wedding for him. We had a big sit down dinner and all this awesome. And we sent out invitations. And you know, we got an RSVP back and it had the number seven on it. And it was to two people. My sister calls me in a panic and saying, this says seven on it. And this cannot be and so maybe it's a one. Maybe they went from two and there was gonna be just one or maybe it was just kind of a misprint or something. So she broke down and called the person. And yes, they are best beep rsvped seven, and they brought seven people.

 

Sharon Rumsey  13:16 

Most of them were children. Five, yep.

 

Michael Gaddie  13:21 

And, and when you say children, they were anywhere from 10 to 15 years old. So I mean that we were

 

Unknown Speaker  13:29 

the topic for another episode.

 

Sharon Rumsey  13:30 

And it happened to me at my own wedding. I was working at a different job at the time. And I hung a sheet up in the break room and said, you know, just sign up if you can come. And I had a number of guests by it. And someone signed up for 11. And I felt really awkward because I didn't know what to say. So I just didn't say anything. And I counted them and I paid for them for 11 people. And when that guest arrived, he shared with me that it was his wife's birthday, and that they were all coming out to celebrate her birthday at my wedding. So Lord, he brought himself plus 10 more people to my wedding.

 

Michael Gaddie  14:16 

I that's a good example of it. You don't do that.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  14:18 

Yeah, that is he definitely.

 

Sharon Rumsey  14:20 

He had a wonderful birthday.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  14:23 

I mean, that is if I didn't know Sharon better than I do. I almost would wonder if she made that up. You brought 10 guests to celebrate a birthday to a wedding. It was someone that I worked with very closely. Yes, that's correct. Did you know any of the other guests?

 

Sharon Rumsey  14:40 

I did not. Oh my god, you should have saw my husband going Who are those people

 

Kristina Stubblefield  14:44 

who are all like an entourage? Yeah, that you're walking in with. And it really comes back to being mindful. You know, with what we have going on right now. Numbers are being limited in a lot of places. Because of COVID, but just being mindful of the celebration that you're there for, I think, I mean, that goes without saying, but I guess with these examples, it needs to be talked about more. So I'm really glad we're covering this. So I know we got several different things with this. How to be a good wedding guests. So Mike, what else do we got? Well,

 

Michael Gaddie  15:20 

the next thing along with your RSVP is, if you It takes a broad wedding planner, Sharon, you can chime in on this. To make a seating chart is a booger, that is a pain in the butt to make sure everybody's got the right seat sitting with the right people, how many is there, whatever it may be. And then you have your guests come in. And they say I don't want to sit here. So they pick up their name tag or their their guest card and they go and put it on a different table. That's a

 

Kristina Stubblefield  15:53 

flashback, or just flashing one of my favorite shows his friends. And I can remember that episode with Ross trying to move his place card. And he ended up at the kids table. Sorry, I really liked friends. But that's not a cool thing to do. As a guest,

 

Sharon Rumsey  16:11 

it will really get me twitching, if I'm standing in a reception. And now Mike, we don't want Sharon touching you do not okay. If I'm standing in a reception, and I see people coming in and they move their place cards, especially now because there are so many guidelines I have to follow. I can only set people that live in the same household together and the seats have to be so far apart. And so you know, myself and the bride have spent hours and hours like Mike said, putting this together. And then I see a bunch of people come in and start moving the place cards. And it's kind of like the domino effect. If you move one, then you've moved to and then it kind of just keeps growing. And it's just a nightmare. So add it to the do not

 

Kristina Stubblefield  16:53 

do list. It is a do not do. Yes. And it really does. I don't think people realize the time and effort that goes into getting those seating charts and accommodations and everything. One

 

Sharon Rumsey  17:05 

of the things I always advise My Brides to do back to Seating Charts is to put those cards in alphabetical order rather than what table you're seated at. So you don't have a herd of people all standing around a seating chart sign. So that's another thing that happens is people will see those cards hanging there. And it might say table one, and it'll have six names on it. Well, so they don't forget where they're setting, they take the whole card down. So they have now pulled the card the other people can have some the other five people have no idea where they're setting.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  17:37 

We may have to have a complete episode on seating charts. It could be one. Absolutely.

 

Michael Gaddie  17:43 

Another important thing is don't arrive to the wedding late,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  17:48 

or you may not can arrive after the music and everything started. Should I be there before the bride gets down the aisle? Is that rude? are we really talking about this,

 

Michael Gaddie  17:58 

and it happens all the text does

 

Sharon Rumsey  18:00 

happen. And sometimes it can't be avoided. But what I do, and My Brides always tease me about this because we talk about it at our first meeting, I have what's called punishment row. And I always save, I don't know, probably 10 seats in the very last row, whether I'm in a church, or I'm at a venue. And what I'll do is I if I see someone coming in, I always have my assistant watch for late comers. As I'm lining my precessional up and getting him ready to go down the aisle. My assistant will stop those people and tell them to wait. And when my bride is all the way down the aisle and everyone's in place, then they can be seated and we will help them to punishment row. But what you cannot do is you can't come in a wedding once the bride and groom are at the front and the minister or officiant is starting to speak. And then you hear people going excuse me, pardon me, and I just made by excuse me, pardon me. It's it will if you have a videographer, it will pick up every time on the audio of that video. So that's how I've solved it is I just save a few seats in the back. And that's where you're going to set up your light mic now

 

Kristina Stubblefield  19:11 

I can see Sharon walking around with this whip cracker punishment row punishment row. But that

 

Sharon Rumsey  19:18 

just comes down to myself and my bride. No, we call it punishment. I just say let me

 

Kristina Stubblefield  19:22 

show you a seat and life happens. There can be accidents, traffic, you're bringing in kids, things like that. But it's back to being respectful of people that have invited you to celebrate their big day with them.

 

Michael Gaddie  19:36 

Well, let me tell you a little example that happened. Oh boy, here we go. When we had the wedding up at Ashley in the wedding was in the front yard. The backdrop was the driveway coming up to the house.

 

Sharon Rumsey  19:49 

Someone drove.

 

Michael Gaddie  19:50 

No they had somebody in Oh, it was Miss Kentucky. I will say she was a doll. But I mean she had people down there. She was on it. She was on an end. Do you know she did I mean, she knew there'd be people like, there was at least eight cars that pulled in, they were stopped. And they all you saw was people walking up the drive. But you didn't want those cars driving up the drive. And here she's getting married. It just it's it when it comes to being light.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  20:15 

I've done some weddings at Goshen Chris farm, which is, oh my gosh, it is stunning. But they have a gravel road leading up to it. So you can hear the car all the way up. And that venue actually plays they have one of their staff members stand down and they won't let anyone drive up the road once the processional starts. So I had, I have attended a couple weddings, one was probably a year or two ago. And then another one was within the last couple months. And it said on, I believe it was the invitation. I can't remember if it was on the invitation or the wedding website, that the lane will be closed 15 minutes before the ceremony begins to allow for the entrance. And I thought that was a really smart thing to do to include that information. So you could allow extra time. And also if you haven't been to some of these venues, whether it's a barn outdoor, there's so many different venue types. Now, you don't know do you have to go past where it's happening in order to park just making sure would you say just try to plan to arrive a little bit early?

 

Sharon Rumsey  21:31 

Well, bar venues Yes. You don't know where you're going to have to park and then downtown venues. Sometimes finding parking is difficult. So you know, you're having people having to look for a space and a garage and that kind of thing. And I get it I mean, I you know everybody's had situations where you're late, it's gonna happen sometimes. I think it's just important to try to not be that person. And then I think it's important that the planner are if you don't have a planner or someone that's helping you with your day, has a has a plan for those people that do have to arrive late.

 

Unknown Speaker  22:03 

that's a that's a really good one.

 

Michael Gaddie  22:05 

It was good.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  22:06 

And I know we've got more. Mike's got examples for days. I figured Sharon would but Michaels got some good examples. Mike's been

 

Sharon Rumsey  22:12 

in the business a lot longer.

 

Michael Gaddie  22:14 

Sharon helped me with this, though. One thing that I know Sharon mentioned is taken florals home afterwards, after the events over me personally, if the bride pay, you know, has fresh flowers. Yeah. I say take them. But this is where the problem comes in. If they've rented the container that we put the florals in, no, they can't take them, but we try to make them where you can take them out and take the flowers and not the container.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  22:44 

Well. And I think Sharon made a really good point about this earlier. And you're probably going to say this about unless you're asked to write or this offer, it's been suggested.

 

Sharon Rumsey  22:55 

So at my final meeting my one month out meeting with My Brides, I say, what do you want to do with your florals? What do you want to do with leftover cake? You know, who's taking your cards home, we go through all of that. So they usually will tell me who if anyone, they want to get a floral arrangement. It's usually family members, close friends, the course the bridal party, the girls always want their bouquets. But there are so many times that I'm in a reception and I have literally looked up and I've seen huge vases just going out the door. And I know that my bride rented those and I know that a florist is going to come when that events over and they're going to want their stuff back. So

 

Kristina Stubblefield  23:36 

and ultimately the couple could end up paying for those because they're not retired. So

 

Sharon Rumsey  23:39 

there's been many times we'll pay for them. Yeah, absolutely. there's

 

Kristina Stubblefield  23:43 

been plenty Sharon's running after many times

 

Sharon Rumsey  23:46 

that I've been out in the parking lot going Excuse me, excuse me, Michael. Michael, get that back. But anyway,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  23:53 

but again, that is something we're trying to bring a little bit of awareness to. Those containers may not have been provided by that couple, they could have been rented. Again, I've never

 

Sharon Rumsey  24:05 

I've never had a wedding where all of the containers were provided by the bride. They're almost always property of the florist.

 

Michael Gaddie  24:12 

And even if they are provided by the the broad IRS, they're not yours. And the thing about it was it could have been their grandmother's I mean here for a while this year we've done China and teacups and it was the grandmother stuff so now it's not yours.

 

Sharon Rumsey  24:27 

I had a wedding back in July, where they had all mismatched China like Mike was saying Mike and I did this wedding together as well. And people thought that it was their souvenir like it was their favor I shouldn't say souvenir their favor. And you know, the mother of the bride had spent months going to pedalers malls and flea markets and getting all this China. So I did stop a few of those going out the door that night to

 

Kristina Stubblefield  24:55 

what an interesting concept though with China. That's that's really it was

 

Sharon Rumsey  24:59 

It was absolutely gorgeous.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  25:01 

I think you gave the best suggestion though, unless it's mentioned to you, hey, if someone from this table would like to take this, you know, don't just take off with it. And most,

 

Sharon Rumsey  25:10 

most of my couples will say, make sure so and so gets one and so and so gets one. And after they after that list, they don't care who takes the rest, but you can't take the container.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  25:21 

And you wouldn't know that going in. So the best rule just don't take in.

 

Michael Gaddie  25:25 

Exactly. Now, you know, if we're there cleaning up, I'll be honest with you, when we get there, we throw everything in a truck and it stays in that truck until Monday morning, and we're thrown in the dumpster. So if we're a bear cleaning up and people are wanting something and the family's gone, we're gonna give it away anyway. But out of respect to the family, don't touch it unless you've given it somebody giving it to you or Well, some

 

Sharon Rumsey  25:47 

flowers to have a significant meaning. You know, I've had Memorial tables where we Mike and I have one coming up where yellow roses were the mother's favorite, the mother the groom's favorite. And she's passed away. So those yellow roses are going to be there, and they're going to be repurposed into the reception. So you know, if you take that home, you might be taking something that that person wanted to save or wanted to preserve somehow. So it it kind of, it's just something you should wait to be asked. Absolutely. We're

 

Unknown Speaker  26:20 

in a row. Mike, do we have something I do

 

Michael Gaddie  26:22 

have another one? One of the worst ones is we, the bride and groom wants you to have a good time at their wedding. Oh, I

 

Unknown Speaker  26:31 

know where you're going with this one. They

 

Michael Gaddie  26:32 

want a party. They want a party, you know, they want you to party with them. But if you've had a little bit too much to drink,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  26:39 

are you suggesting people shouldn't stand out just by getting wasted?

 

Michael Gaddie  26:42 

I'm wondering I had a I had a waiting about four weeks ago and we get there to pick this stuff up. One of the groomsmen I kid you not. Now this was at a fancy hotel, he was sitting in the middle of the room in a chair with his head bent over between his legs and throwing up everywhere.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  27:00 

Sharon, how would you categorize that wedding planner nightmare.

 

So probably just a little too much over served, well over served. But that's taken it a little too far as what I'm absolutely

 

Sharon Rumsey  27:12 

I think sometimes. I mean, we joke about it, but it honestly can ruin a bride and groom's day. And I think sometimes when people hear free alcohol, they they just have no restraint. And they want to have as much of it as they can. I've actually a lesson learned the hard way I no longer allow last call to be announced at any of my events. Because what I was finding was you have a bartender say last call. And what you're doing is saying everybody run up here and drink as much as you can in the next 15 minutes before we close the bar. Absolutely.

 

Michael Gaddie  27:47 

So we got it. I've never I've never really heard of that.

 

Sharon Rumsey  27:51 

We just now if any of my receptions we just quietly closed the bar. I asked the I don't want it announced I don't want to call it out. And for some of my wedding parties, you know, they say we're just going to pick on groomsmen, let's just because that's usually who's guilty. They usually start getting ready around noon or one o'clock. So they start drinking at noon or one o'clock. And they will then let's they will they will. Right? You're gonna be 1011 before that receptions over. You've really got to pace yourself.

 

Unknown Speaker  28:25 

We need a different word for that many hours.

 

Sharon Rumsey  28:28 

Yeah, I really, really do caution. My my couples, I usually have a talk with the groom and they they get it to not drink a lot before the ceremony to try not to drink a lot during the day getting ready. I also on my party buses are any transportation I have for my bridal party. I try very hard and most of them listen, we don't put anything on there but bottled water before the ceremony, then I will have my assistants switch that out to any alcohol they want on the bus after the ceremony. We'll just switch the coolers out. But prior to I try really hard not to promote.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  29:06 

I mean you're talking about. I have been at weddings where the wedding party is halfway there before the ceremony starts. And you're talking about pictures, memories. You know, if this is your one time you get married, you know, this is your lifetime memories, you're part of something that's bigger than you. And I think a lot of times I feel like I've talked a lot about respect in this episode. But it is

 

Michael Gaddie  29:37 

all about respect when it comes to this,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  29:39 

you know, and that this couple has felt like you were so important to them to be part of their wedding party. You know, it's a privilege. And you should treat it like that. You know, I know we're talking about guests but also wedding party as well because they're photos taken at the reception and things like that. But also, we could, I'm sure go into some topics about couples, the actual bride and groom, but wedding guests to stand out, especially before you know those important dances, the cake cutting, there's so many things like that, that make up people's receptions. And just to be that person propped up in the corner slumped over everyone running to the

 

Sharon Rumsey  30:27 

church, I really appreciate what you just said, it's, you're part of something bigger than you. Because when you are the one that is, is going to the extreme, allowing yourself to get drunk, sometimes making a spectacle, you're making it about you. And you're not putting that focus on the couple, and allowing them to have their day, especially if you're a member of the wedding party.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  30:53 

Well, I've been to weddings before, where I've had friends, relatives, maybe that have made plans to either Uber or take a cab or ride with people. Because it this is going to be a good time. And I don't recall any anything right off the top of my head to give examples in

 

Sharon Rumsey  31:18 

stores.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  31:19 

Have I thought hard enough, I'm probably good. But that's okay. You know, you're being smart. You don't want to drink and drive. But that doesn't mean that you have to get hammered. And make a spectacle when it's not your day.

 

Michael Gaddie  31:33 

Right? Well, and the bride and groom wants to have a good time. They want you all to have a good time, all the guests to have a good time, but still come back to respect that be responsible. So it I mean, because honestly, I've been at weddings where it's become a disaster because somebody was so drunk that couldn't stand up. And I'm even talking about the bride and the groom. I know, it's not just the guest. I mean, I've had brides go down. And, you know, you know, all kinds of things happen. But,

 

Sharon Rumsey  32:03 

but if, if you're the guests that got over served, and like Mike was talking about, you know, he went in and there's a groomsmen vomiting in the corner. If I'm a wedding planner, and I see that happening, I've got to go attend to that. So you've now taken me away from the couple from the couple who are supposed to be my priority, someone at the venue has to stop and come clean that up, you're gonna try to make the best out of that bad situation you are doing. If you do that on a carpet and it can't be cleaned, you now cost that couple there damage deposit. There's so many things that people just don't think about. And I don't think anyone comes intentionally to say, Hey, I'm gonna ruin this day, and I'm going to get sloshed and make a donkey out of myself. But it happens. Right, we've

 

Kristina Stubblefield  32:50 

said that it happens. And you know, I think it's, we have turned this in really kind of be this episode, really speaking about how to be a good wedding guests how to be part of that special day, and be part of that celebration. And at the end of it,

 

Michael Gaddie  33:07 

be respectful

 

Kristina Stubblefield  33:08 

to what you were invited to participate in. And I think this is something that people don't talk a lot about, unless you go to these on a regular basis. I mean, you know, the younger generations without labeling, you know, it's, if this is your first time getting married, it's not like you've done this before, you don't know all of these things. And I think the guests are an important piece to this event. And we started off talking about, you know, dreams into reality. I'm not sure very many couples out there, their dream is to have pictures of their sloshed wedding party right after the ceremony or talking about how they lost their damaged deposit because the the groom's best friend was

 

Sharon Rumsey  34:01 

right. One of the things I would recommend, and this happens more often than you would think. I will ask My Brides or my couples, is there anything any family situation I need to be aware of? Is there anything I need to know? And a lot of times they will say so and so is going to get too drunk? They know their friends, I know their family. So what I asked him to do is to give me a photo of that person that I will then make sure my bar staff has so they know to watch that person for being over served. No, Sharon,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  34:35 

exactly what you're saying is they only get half porce that's really what you're sharing out here.

 

Sharon Rumsey  34:41 

Correct. We don't want to tarnish Sharon.

 

Michael Gaddie  34:44 

I think Sharon does a lot of stuff that I didn't know she did.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  34:47 

You know, but it's all that's

 

Michael Gaddie  34:49 

so good. Right?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  34:50 

Well, and that. I mean, this episode is not about the reason to have a wedding planner. When you have a little

 

Sharon Rumsey  34:56 

bit okay if you want to make it Okay,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  34:57 

okay, thank you. But what It comes down to is that that wedding planner, a wedding planner, job is to facilitate really from beginning to end to make your dream a reality. And there's so much that goes into it. And you can as a bride and groom as a couple, that day you're enjoying that day can't be facilitating the family members, or there's a feud going on over here, or somebody didn't get the right food or this, that and the other. And that's a very important point, you can help the guests, those that arrive late, those that maybe have a little too good of a time, you can help monitor those situations to where it's still a great event that could have turned disastrous. But it was handled

 

Sharon Rumsey  35:48 

it really getting to know your couples beforehand and forming those good relationships. I I take really, into my heart, some of the things that my couples share with me that I will never tell anyone, but there are things that I need to know. So that I can you know, there's a lot of family situations, there's divorced parents. And that's another thing that we didn't talk about at all, if you're a family member, be a family member don't bring, you know, a grudge you have from five years ago into that wedding and cause a mess.

 

Michael Gaddie  36:21 

I mean, that's a whole nother topic. Yeah. So,

 

Sharon Rumsey  36:23 

um,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  36:25 

and then there's some cases where some people just don't need to be invited. That's correct. But that is a whole nother topic for a whole nother. And at

 

Sharon Rumsey  36:36 

the end of the day, the only vote that counts is the one in the white dress. And that's the one I'm going to pay attention to. So we're going to do whatever she needs, or he needs us to do to make a good wedding. Well, I

 

Kristina Stubblefield  36:46 

don't know about you all. But I think this is really going to be some helpful information for those family, those friends of people that are engaged. And I really feel like this will be something that couples can share out and be like, don't be this person that they're talking about. This is I don't want you to be this right here at my event. Good. Anything else that we left out?

 

Michael Gaddie  37:12 

There's many, many more things we could talk about. We could

 

Kristina Stubblefield  37:15 

talk about this for a long time. But it's all about given tips and everything involved from everything, the ring, the bling, and all the things so thanks. We hope you enjoyed this topic. And if you want to give us any kind of topics or ideas, you can always send us a message on social media, follow us. shoot us an email, we'll be happy to get some feedback and better yet, you got a story you want to share.

 

Sharon Rumsey  37:47 

Okay,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  37:47 

you know that person did this at my event? That would be the best episode ever. Yes. tag us on Instagram

 

Michael Gaddie  37:54 

tag us. That'd be great.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  37:55 

Yes. I mean, you know what, they did it.

 

Sharon Rumsey  37:58 

Lady get a glass of wine and read all of those Bryce.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  38:01 

You know what, I think we're gonna do a follow up episodes, we can talk about

 

Sharon Rumsey  38:06 

the shader, it happened at my wedding.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  38:08 

Yeah, there we go. So Sherif, share some of those stories with us. And remember, you told that person that you would never forget this, they would not live this down. And we can talk about it and share some of these stories and keep this from happening to other people. So email us, you can tag us on social media, you'll be able to find us and get us the story. Then you can tell us if you want us to mention your name or not. Or the name of the person that may be the best guest

 

Sharon Rumsey  38:41 

she's gonna go with us in trouble a

 

Kristina Stubblefield  38:42 

worst guest. There's so many ideas here. Okay, we're better wrap this up. So, thanks for tuning in. Until next time, stay safe.

 

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the ring, doubling and all the things. If you like what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe button to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, the ring, the bling and all the things.com for past episodes, and make sure to connect with us on social media. If you would like to help us get the word out about this podcast. Make sure to share with your family, your friends and anyone you know in the wedding business.

 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai