July 14, 2021

Be BrideChilla NOT BrideZilla!


In this episode, co-hosts Kristina, Mike & Sharon give tips for how to be BrideChilla and NOT BrideZilla so you can stop the overwhelm and be “chill” all the way through your wedding planning process.

Don’t let the overwhelming to-do list steal your joy! Co-hosts Kristina, Mike & Sharon share some great tips in this episode about how to enjoy being engaged and how to stay “chill” throughout the wedding planning process.

Tune in to this episode to hear our co-hosts share tips on the wedding planning process… what to do first, when to do it, when to take a break and when to ramp it back up!

Weddings should be nothing but fun! Including the planning process! Listen in on this episode to hear how a timed, detailed checklist will help you get through your planning process if you can’t hire a wedding planner to do it all for you.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND how to be a BrideChilla and not a BrideZilla throughout your wedding planning process!

Share your biggest takeaway from the episode and how you will stay “chill”  when planning your wedding... and tag us on Facebook or Instagram @theringtheblingandallthethings 

While you’re there, make sure you follow us @theringtheblingandallthethings so you can see behind the scenes where me, Mike & Sharon will take you from engagement to your wedding day and beyond with The Ring, The Bling & All The Things 

Transcript

Kristina Stubblefield  0:00  

wedding planning is a lot. It can be overwhelming, stressful and intimidating. It honestly doesn't have to be.

 

Michael Gaddie  0:08  

What steps can you take to make sure you actually enjoy the planning process, while still making sure that everything gets done and runs smoothly?

 

Sharon Rumsey  0:18  

So grab a drink, grab your Sweetie, and take a listen as we share our tips to help you stay bride chilla not bridezilla.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  0:28  

You got engaged. Congratulations. Happy. Yes, joyful time. Of course. Now what timelines to do lists and checklists? 100% Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to the ring, the bling, and all the things. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddie and Sharon Rumsey. We have over 50 years of wedding industry experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. We are here to get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. Our podcast will cover everything from you saying yes to the I do's and all that happens in between. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now let's get started with this episode.

 

wedding planning can be stressful and overwhelming. But there should be joy in the process. Sharon, we have a great episode and we'll let Mike talk a little bit. But you've kind of come up with a name for this episode.

 

Sharon Rumsey  1:55  

Yes, I want everybody out there to be bribed. chilla not bridezilla.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  2:02  

Love it. Mike. What do you think?

 

Michael Gaddie  2:04  

I agree with her 100% can't be happy. brides not Godzilla.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  2:11  

Right. So in this episode, we've got some helpful tips to get out of the overwhelming feeling in back to enjoying the wedding planning. Now we can't fix everything we wish we could. But we have some tips to help you along the way. So Sharon, you want to kick it off?

 

Sharon Rumsey  2:31  

Sure. Just in my experience working with brides and grooms honestly, they tend to get so overwhelmed. Because when you just look at the year before a wedding, and every single thing that has to be done. It is very, very overwhelming. There are a ton of details. But I have found and I think Mike has also found several things that you can do along the way to not let anything steal the joy from you. And you want this to be a fun process. You want to include family and friends.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:03  

Mike, I know what she's going to talk about. Do you know what she's going to talk about? So planning? Is that right? Share planning, having a plan, right?

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:13  

having a plan and children's

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:15  

favorite thing or favor? Yes,

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:17  

having a realistic plan.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:19  

And I like what Mike mentioned right before we went to record this, he mentioned about things that are most important to the bride and groom. And I think that's really important as well. So where do we start sharing? Where do we where do we begin this?

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:38  

Well, I, I think wedding planning and I tell my couples this a lot. It's like when you were a kid and you played red light green light, maybe I'm old and maybe nobody plays that anymore. But red light green light. Because you explain what that is. It's a game and you run and then somebody goes red light and you freeze. And then they go green light. And then you go and then they go red light and then you freeze. So like if you are still in motion after they say red light, then you're out.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:06  

I cannot wait make sure you look up this episode on YouTube while Sharon was demonstrating that you won't want to miss you want to. So okay, it's like red light green light,

 

Sharon Rumsey  4:16  

reel it in. We're reeling it back in real and so the reason I say it's like red light green light is when you initially get engaged. And you get all excited about your planning. First of all, take a beat. Enjoy being engaged.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:32  

There's no off that ring. Yeah, tell all your family and friends

 

Sharon Rumsey  4:36  

there's no reason to call and hire a wedding planner that night Even though you know if you want it to help you call me but

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:43  

but on that note though, if there's one that you know you want to use, whether they've been referred to you someone in your families use them that really needs to be one of your first calls

 

Michael Gaddie  4:54  

very first call.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:55  

It should be your friend have to be the day you get engaged or the day after

 

Sharon Rumsey  4:59  

I have a client right now who actually told me when she wanted to get married, and told me that she wanted me to be her wedding planner and to pencil her in on that date, before she got engaged, because she knew it was coming. So that happens a lot. But there's gonna be, enjoy that moment, enjoy being engaged. If you have the budget for a wedding planner, I, of course, strongly suggest that you call that that'd be one of your first calls, because that wedding planner can then direct you in what your next steps and your next steps should be, in what order, you should do everything. But the reason I say it's like red light green light, is there's a ton of stuff to do in the very beginning, because you want to get those vendors booked. So that you have that a team that we talked about all the time you had, you know, you have the best of the best. And vendors that fit your personality and fit your budget, you want to make sure you get your vendors booked, then there's going to be a little wall where there's not so much to do. And then about six months out come the tastings and you know, the, the floral appointments and all that stuff. So it is a little bit like playing red light, green light. You know, my grandma used to say, how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time, how you plan a wedding. So don't try to overwhelm yourself with doing everything at once. And looking at this huge checklist of everything that needs to be done.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  6:24  

Mike, I want to talk about something on this note. One of the things that I think can help people out, especially in the beginning of this process, if there are vendors that you know, without a doubt that this is going to be part of my vendor team, you have to reach out to them. Because dates are going quickly. Not that that's anything new. But there's a lot of people playing catch up. So making sure whether that is a florist, a venue, a makeup artist, your hairstylist, for example. And Sharon has mentioned this before number one if you know that you want them on your team, but also, if they're a one person show if that they don't have a team.

 

Michael Gaddie  7:10  

Well, I mean any vendor that you want. Back to what Sharon said, very first, get your planner, because they can help you start with all your vendors. When you book your vendors, I mean, your first vendor that you should concentrate on before anything, if you do not have a venue is your concentrate on your venue. And I think we've mentioned this before, don't set your date, set your month, and set your day. Because then if you want a Pacific Pacific venue, let them tell you the date that they're available in the month that you want.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  7:47  

I've even heard some people saying about what season Do you want even your season.

 

Michael Gaddie  7:56  

So after you focus on getting your venue, then you start thinking about your dress colors, the bride's dress, because your venue is the most important. But there's a lot of details in, you know, from after the venue comes in. But you get all those booked and you get them booked right away. And then everything else is going to fall into place.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  8:17  

And I would think that would help with some of the overwhelm, knowing that you're getting those people to build your a team, as you always refer to it, Sharon, that that helps alleviate some of that stress to know Okay, I've got a signed contract, my deposit is paid, not just necessarily a phone call in same person saying yes, I'm available that date, get it in writing with a deposit.

 

Sharon Rumsey  8:42  

Right, there's a huge sigh of relief, knowing that your team is in place, and that you got the people you want. I like to usually have a meeting, you know, with with each vendor before we sign a contract, just to make extra sure that it's a good fit. Not only for budget, but for personality once again. So you know, maybe take a day, take a Thursday or whatever day works for you take a day off from work and say I'm gonna have all my vendor meetings to this day. And that's what I do. You know, you'll see it on my Google Calendar, it might say, Sarah day, because I know that day, I'm going to set with Sarah. And we're going to just go boom, boom, boom, and we're going to check off those vendors one at a time, we're going to go meet with all of them.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  9:27  

And that probably helps with people that want to be part of the process are that you want to help you with that process. Whether it be that your mom, right or mother of the groom, whoever that may be

 

Sharon Rumsey  9:37  

right? And, you know, that's the way I like to do it. And that way, if someone isn't available, or maybe after that meeting, they're not a good fit, then I have time to move on to the next person. But again, those vendors you have your heart set on maybe there's a band that you love or you know you you love Mike's florals, and you've always wanted him to do your wedding. Those are the ones we need to focus on first, and

 

Michael Gaddie  10:03  

it's never too early to call your vendors. But I'll be honest with you, right now, since we're so busy, especially going through the season, don't get frustrated if they don't return your call within a reasonable amount of time. Because this is our busy season also, but it's never too early to go ahead and start thinking about a year out. Some, oh, vendors, say six to eight months, eight months out. Me personally, I say a year out. Because I mean, I've already I'm loaded for next year already. So I want to go ahead and get you in there. But just keep in mind after you do get your vendors all set, set back and remind yourself of why you are doing this anyway. Sometimes I feel like the bride and the groom, especially the bride and the bride's mom gets lost in all the hustle and bustle job of everything that they're doing to stop and remind yourself at least once a week, why are we doing this so that that should help the overwhelming stuff. You know, it is overwhelmed. It used to be have to concentrate and you know, enjoy it too.

 

Sharon Rumsey  11:20  

When I first started it used to be for floral appointment say I would wait until the bride had purchased her dress. And we had chosen bridesmaids dresses are at least chosen the color. But now with the way vendors are booked, even if I don't know any of those things, especially, you know, like with Lloyds florists, they're so busy, that I will say, Are you sure this is who you want. And if they tell me Yes, then I want to go ahead and get that deposit paid. And I want to get on their book, we can have our meeting later and go over colors and flower selection and that kind of thing. Same thing for a DJ, you know you love this DJ. We're going to get on their book. We will meet later and pick out songs but we're going to get on the book. That's the main thing is on the book.

 

Michael Gaddie  12:07  

Well going back to florals. I know you've all and you have learned this for me, I've always said Get your dress correct picked out.

 

Sharon Rumsey  12:15  

I don't do that in today's

 

Michael Gaddie  12:19  

circumstances. I mean it is so important to get your vendors. The thing about it is if you know that your color palette is going to be creams and whites and greenery which 90% of My Brides are like that. If that's you know, that's what your color palette is. Go ahead and come in. Because I mean, even this week, I've had people come in, they don't know their dress color. Well, you know, that goes through me like a butcher knife, you'll be fine. But with everything going on now and they want to go wanting to go ahead and book for next year, it really doesn't matter what color dress they pick out. As long as they know their their color palette for the flowers are going to be neutral.

 

Sharon Rumsey  12:59  

Well, and honestly, I know you don't love to advertise this. But if they, if they come in early, and they get on the book, and maybe two, three months down the road, they change their mind, they want different florals, they want different colors, then we can change it. But that wedding is on your book, their spot is reserved.

 

Michael Gaddie  13:16  

And usually though when they want to change something, even if they do, it doesn't have to be dramatic, we may add one flower like we I know we have this one lady that come back in and she wants some lavender edit, right? I mean, it's that's always an easy fix. But again, back to the main thing, you want to go ahead and get your vendors booked way in advance.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  13:36  

So Sharon, you mentioned red light, green light. So the initial thing of getting your vendors in place that you want. And then you mentioned a little bit of law that you might not have as much on your plate to deal with, as we get into the six month, you know, down to the month before the wedding. Is there things that you recommend people think about or try not to get overwhelmed with in that time period? Again, I

 

Sharon Rumsey  14:05  

think it is doing you know eating that elephant one bite at a time not thinking oh my gosh, I have the 75 things to do. It's like what do I need to do this week? And you know, one of the things that I do for my clients is I have created a checklist then in my opinion and you know, every planners checklist will be a little different. In my opinion it has every single thing that you need to do from 12 months out from wedding day, down to two weeks out the groom needs to get a haircut. Both of the couple need to get their teeth whitened. I mean it's that detailed. We need to make sure the groom not only has a suit but when did he buy his socks and his you know belt and those kinds of things. So use get a detailed checklist. If you don't have a wedding planner, get one from Pinterest or somewhere. Something that that can guide you that you can work from And then take it you know, what do I need to do this month what I need to do this week, and mixing some fun stuff with that, you know, if I have a, I have had brides that really struggle with anxiety and they are getting so overwhelmed with it all. And I will say we're going to take a timeout. So we're not going to talk for a week, I want you guys to go on a date. And I know wedding planning talk at all. And it just kind of gives them a refresh and let them kind of remember, like Mike said, Hey, I like this person. That's why we're doing this. Now I remember, because I've I've noticed guys get they get really saturated really fast with wedding planning. And sometimes for Brides, it's all I want to talk about. So sometimes you need to take a little break.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  15:53  

That's really great advice. And I, we had Clancy on one of our past episodes. And she was so shocked that her and her fiance at the time, the week of their wedding, got to go out to dinner and have a date night just to have that moment between themselves, you know, before their wedding date. And she was I can't put into words exactly. But that was so refreshing to them is kind of how she worded it it really let them kind of check in on themselves, and just get prepared for the days ahead. So as we go into that month, before the wedding, I know I want to get to the week of the wedding too. But that month before, you know we're talking about different levels of anxiety here and different levels of overwhelm. And like you said it can be kind of a roller coaster with emotions. What do you what do you got?

 

Michael Gaddie  16:54  

Well, what I'd like to say is, the whole process is overwhelming. But going back to what you've said, Sharon, if you have a good team, and they know what they're doing, and they're professional, they're going to take it one step at a time that they know what they're supposed to do. And the bride is not gonna have to worry about it. Well, yeah, you've got to set realistic goals for yourself, to make sure that you book the right venues, vendors, and then let them take control, love it. And don't worry about it. Not saying that they shouldn't follow up with each of their vendors two weeks out. But if you follow up with them, make sure everybody's online, it's going to make it a lot smoother for you to make sure everything is perfect for that day,

 

Sharon Rumsey  17:39  

the four to six weeks right before your wedding can be incredibly overwhelming. And almost to the point of I've had brides use the word scary, or it can be incredibly fun. So I have what I call my month out meetings, we're going to meet with catering. We're going to meet with floral, we're going to meet with DJ, we're going to meet with photographer, and we're going to do these month out meetings. Even though we've already met with that vendor, we're just going to make extra sure that we're on the same page. So Brian start to get overwhelmed with counts being due and numbers being due. And balances being balances being paid. What you do is you want to Okay, I'm just going to use floral since Mike sitting across from me. You want to schedule that month out for a meeting, I'm going to go with you. We're going to sit down we're going to say our guest count was 250. Now we're at 200. So we don't need as many guest tables so we don't need as many centerpieces, are there any colors you need to change is there anything you know that you want to change, we're going to go back over, maybe we've lost a bridesmaid along the way, maybe we've added a reader and that reader needs a boot near. So it's just that little final final check of everything. But those appointments should be fun, because this is like the real deal. You're about to get married. Now. It's serious business. And it should be fun for you. But it's it's just like, you know, and I use the coaching analogy all the time because my kids were such big athletes. And that's was our whole life. But if you've done your work, if you've done your work for the last few months leading up to wedding month, then this is all automatic. You know, if you've planned and you've done what you should have done all along, then this is all automatic and it should not be stressful. We're going to go to catering we're going to do that last catering appointment. We were at 250 now we're at 200. So I'm going to take 50 plates off. Here's my seating chart, here's my meal selections. Easy peasy.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  19:41  

It's really like a double check or just kind of a one so right

 

Michael Gaddie  19:45  

almost as soon as you get your your second meetings and with your vendors in. Then you get to stop and focus on the fun part.

 

Sharon Rumsey  19:53  

Yeah, and that's when I tell him you've got grease on your shoes, we're gonna slide into wedding day, and that's when that email goes out from me to the bridal party and the vendor team that says Hi, I'm Sharon, I'm the wedding planner, here's my contact information, you're going to be getting a timeline from me soon, I'm going to ask from this point moving forward that you contact me directly. Let's let our bride and groom enjoy the, you know, the last few weeks leading up to wedding planning. And that's what having a planner and I know I say this all the time, really, really, really is helpful, because any questions a vendor, or even a member of the bridal party has those questions are going to come to me.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  20:31  

Okay, so let's go. Let's recap just a little bit. For those out there who might not have a wedding planner. Here's what I've heard. Communication is key. Your appointments as getting them set originally and getting those vendors booked is a must. Your follow up appointments, whether it be an in person meeting, or a telephone conversation, however that needs to happen. Making sure your bridal party knows what's up. What's the deal is, here's what's happening, this, that and the other because come wedding week, I'm gonna let you go in here because you always talk about how important wedding week is. But communication is key on setting the expectations. And being on the same page with your vendors. Especially if you don't have a wedding planner.

 

Sharon Rumsey  21:22  

Yeah, wedding a wedding week should be nothing but fun for that couple. One thing that I forgot to mention a couple minutes ago is part of those that month out task, you want to create a floor plan. You want to know where every single table chair DJ stand cake tables going, you want that floor plan created, even if it's just I'm not a techie person. So most of my floor plans, I draw them. But whatever you have to do, you want to create a floor plan so that you know where everything's

 

Kristina Stubblefield  21:55  

going not being judged based. It's so you know, in your vendors know what's going

 

Sharon Rumsey  22:00  

well. And then your vendor when they come to set up. They're not going if you don't have a wedding planner, they're going to go into hair and makeup and say, Where am I going, I don't know where I'm going. Yeah. So you want that floor plan set out and your seating chart. So you want numbers in two weeks before your wedding. Once your numbers are in your seating chart needs to be made. You don't want to go into wedding week without your seating chart made. So require that your rsvps be in about three weeks out gives you a week to make your seating chart and everything is tied up with a bow prior to wedding week.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  22:34  

And now let's talk about wedding week. Sorry, well,

 

Michael Gaddie  22:37  

let's before we do that, let's talk about seating charts. Because over the years, the seating chart is one of the most overwhelming things for brides and the moms. So you have your rsvps, three weeks out, you take care of it that week. You're always going to have somebody at the last minute add on. takeaway. But what how many tables do you recommend is to have overflow?

 

Sharon Rumsey  23:05  

Well, I recommend that there'll be a table for vendors, which can also be used as guest overflow if need be. And then I recommend one table of eight seats. For shame on you. You forgot to RSVP the punishment table, let's call it well. I

 

Michael Gaddie  23:24  

mean, you take a lot of time. And that's what I'm not kidding. That's one of the overwhelming things that they deal with. And sometimes I'll be I'm just gonna say that I've always felt like maybe the seating chart is not that important, which is important. It is very important. But sometimes the headaches that you go through with it, if you don't have a wedding planner, that it's I know that work.

 

Sharon Rumsey  23:46  

I know we've said this on other episodes. I don't love a seating chart. B for exactly the reason you said I think it is the most overwhelming task. And if anything is gonna cause a fight between a mother and a bride. That's gonna be that.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  24:00  

Yeah. But it can also bring up other drama amongst the family. Right? Well. Who can't sit with who? How far apart? Do these people need to be your opening?

 

Sharon Rumsey  24:13  

I mean, sometimes literally, there's somebody in his family and I'm like, Yeah, I don't know what she is. I don't know what she did. But nobody wants to sit by her. Like, just one person at the table, you know? So like, Why is she even coming? Exactly right? what I'm thinking but if you have only about only as many seats as you'd like, you're over there laughing

 

Kristina Stubblefield  24:35  

and every family has it. Oh, no, not one select. But I always

 

Sharon Rumsey  24:39  

want to kind of be like, What's up with this part? I hate what's the sleep on her? Yeah, anyway, yeah. Did she

 

Michael Gaddie  24:45  

play they're listening to this podcast? So they'll know not to be that person.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  24:50  

Exactly. Maybe. But if we've got that much power, we're doing something right.

 

Sharon Rumsey  24:56  

If you if you only have as many seats as you do, get You need a seating chart. Because if someone doesn't, you know, say I don't like Mike and Christina, and I don't want to sit with them. If I don't have an assigned seat and I come in and there are tables only table with an open seat, what do I do? So you want to have enough extra seating that people can find their own seat and you want to accept that every table is not going to be full. Like if you have eight seats at every table, they're not all going to be full when a seating chart has to happen, when you must have one is if you only have enough chairs for the number of guests you have. And if you're having a plated meal with a meal selection, because if you know you can choose from beef, salmon or vegetarian, say, the catering staff has to know at each table, how many of each meal they're bringing out. And then you have to have escort cards that say what that person selected. And the rule, you have to have a seating chart with a plated meal, no exception. And the

 

Kristina Stubblefield  26:03  

reason that we're talking about seating charts, because it can be so overwhelming, and it can cause additional

 

Michael Gaddie  26:09  

one thing,

 

Sharon Rumsey  26:10  

if you're going to do one, it needs to be done two weeks out.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  26:14  

Well and we touched on a little bit of the family drama that can happen. There's always tends to be somebody that it's always not about the bride and groom try to make it more about themselves. As we wrap up this episode, what advice can you give for trying not to get caught up in that to where it makes it even more stressful?

 

Sharon Rumsey  26:40  

remove yourself from it. Just don't don't talk to those people the week of your wedding.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  26:47  

don't engage in it,

 

Sharon Rumsey  26:48  

don't engage, just remove yourself from it. If you have a wedding planner, um, I joke, you know, like we joke about Aunt Betty and that kind of stuff. But if you only knew some of the things that had been shared with me that you know, are between myself and my client that I handle so they don't have to. And we

 

Kristina Stubblefield  27:07  

talked about this on past

 

Sharon Rumsey  27:08  

episodes, yes, I run a lot of interference.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  27:12  

And if you don't have a wedding planner, find someone that Yeah,

 

Sharon Rumsey  27:16  

find someone in your family or it's for you. The other thing that I would have that family member do the week of the wedding, if you don't have a wedding planner, is I do a 48 sometimes 72 hour vendor check in. I probably drive vendors crazy. To be honest, Mike might like say that I do. But even though we've had our month out meeting and even though I've sent the timeline, if you have a Saturday wedding, I recommend on starting on Wednesday May be divided up between Wednesday and Thursday. Call with your voice not an email, not a text message call each vendor. Say Hey, getting married on Saturday, just want to make sure we're all set I have you arriving at this time I have you coming in this door. This is you know our expectation. Just that last last check that if there's any problem, you can address it and address it then but I don't recommend the couple doing that. That's your wedding planners job. But if you don't have a wedding planner, again, a maid of honor maybe the mom but I really like for mom to enjoy that week too. And back to the family thing. Just remove yourself from it. And honestly, if it's if it's bothering you that bad, that person should not be at your wedding.

 

Michael Gaddie  28:33  

Well, I just want to get across to the brides and I know we talked about wedding planners, wedding planning, wedding planners, I just want them to know that if you get good responsible help, such as your maid of honor and your bridesmaids to help you take some of these responsibilities on. If you work with them two or three weeks out, they'll take some of that responsibility for for you. So you don't have to worry about it

 

Kristina Stubblefield  28:56  

back to communication. Ask for the help. Ask your wedding party to get involved. They may not automatically know this could be their first wedding they've been in. But if you share with them, what's overwhelming you what's stressing you out what's on your to do list. That way they can help take some of those pieces off.

 

Michael Gaddie  29:15  

I have seen over the years to the most common brides are the one that does have people to help them not just wedding planners, but good bridesmaids and we've seen supportive family, family and that kind of thing. Because if you've got somebody to take the load off for you and they've got your back, then you don't have to worry about it. Yeah, that's a main

 

Kristina Stubblefield  29:38  

automatically built in kind of a little bit of interference. The

 

Sharon Rumsey  29:41  

flip side of that pancake though, is you have to be ready to let that person help you. You have to let go a little bit. I've had people that, you know, they hire me they pay me but they're still a nervous wreck. You know the week Get their wedding because they just can't let go of that control. So it's a really fine line.

 

Michael Gaddie  30:05  

If I can give any advice to abroad, right now it would be let everybody else that you've Howard hired, take control of it, you're going to get more out of that vendor, then standing over him and making sure that this and that and it's got to be this way, it's got to be this way. We're all human, we all make mistakes, everything doesn't always work out, you know, whether it may change it, the temperature may change it. Somebody may be an accident on the way to the, to the venue or the to the wedding, there's, there's a million things that can happen. But at the end of the day, you're still going to get married, you're still going to marry the love of your life. And it may not be exactly the way you planned it at first, but it's still going to happen. So if you can just step back and look at the whole picture and say, Is it really that important that the flower girl forgot the flower basket as she's walking down the aisle,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  31:02  

someone said the wrong seat? Exactly. Somebody

 

Michael Gaddie  31:05  

said the wrong thing. Once

 

Sharon Rumsey  31:06  

again, you're gonna let something steal your joy. Exactly. And you don't honestly, you know, I can speak from our wedding planners perspective. My job is to assemble the best team and I said all the time of vendors I can possibly assemble, looking at the event and what it's going to require. So that day, if I stand over that vendor team, and I say, you know, are you sure that speakers gonna work? Are you sure that's loud enough? Mike, are you sure that arches good? First of all, I'm going to drive them crazy. Second, they've lost their motivation, because they're being micromanaged. Because I've drove them crazy. So my job is to put together the best team of experts I can put together and get out of the way and let them do their jobs. And that's the same for a bride and a groom. Who are sharing what about,

 

Michael Gaddie  31:55  

do you hear an echo?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  31:58  

Oh, my goodness, that's another.

 

Sharon Rumsey  32:02  

No, Mike, I do not hear the

 

Kristina Stubblefield  32:03  

echo. The other thing too, is Sharon, even if you don't have a wedding planner, hiring those professionals, and then over time wedding professionals, you

 

Sharon Rumsey  32:14  

hire them, because they're experts you are do their job.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  32:17  

And that helps take the stress off, all the way through wedding day to the time you get in your car to leave the event. Because no matter what happens, and there's a likelihood that something is something is going

 

Sharon Rumsey  32:31  

to happen.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  32:34  

There are the professionals, that if you use a friend, or someone that's trying to help you out with taking your pictures or playing your music, it's a stressful situation, a lot of times at weddings, even for the vendors, because there's precise things that happen at certain times certain things. You take a non professional and you put them in that environment. And then something goes just a little off, it can go haywire.

 

Sharon Rumsey  33:01  

Well, and when you when you have and I mean, everybody has a budget and you you know, you don't have to have $100,000 budget to have a beautiful wedding. But put your money on those things that are important. And it is your vendor team. Because going to help with your store, have a friend being your DJ, our friend, being your florist or your photographer. when something does happen. They're not they're going to come and ask you what to do. And that is

 

Kristina Stubblefield  33:27  

that I lost power and I can't play your first dance that is number do I

 

Sharon Rumsey  33:31  

do thing you don't want?

 

Michael Gaddie  33:32  

Well, I know that's another that was another episode we talked about. But you're that's fenders, and you're probably not going to be friends much longer after that.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  33:40  

And if you're considering using a friend to be part of your vendor team, I highly encourage you to go back to one of our very first episodes called fenders. Because that will probably put a little perspective on some things to really consider if you want that person to be your friend going forward after your wedding. So but hopefully this episode has helped provide some tools and tips that you can use along the way. And you're planning to take away some of that stress, anxiety and overwhelming feeling. Because at the end of the day, you're planning such an important part of your life. You want to be able to enjoy it.

 

Michael Gaddie  34:25  

It's supposed to be fun. And just remember, remind yourself why you're there.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  34:31  

And at the end of the day, you are going to say I do and you're going to be married. So hopefully you all found this helpful. Make sure to check out our website if you want to catch our episode recording you can do so on YouTube. Until next time, everyone, stay safe.

 

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the ring, doubling and all the things. If you like what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe button to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, the ring, the bling and all the things calm for past episodes, and make sure to connect with us on social media. If you would like to help us get the word out about this podcast, make sure to share with your family, your friends and anyone you know in the wedding business.

 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai