Jan. 6, 2021

Avoid Big Budget Buts

Avoid Big Budget Buts

In this episode, co-hosts Kristina, Mike & Sharon talk about budgets and how to avoid the BIG buts that may arise when it comes to wedding planning, and hurt feelings over who is paying for what.

It stinks! And no one likes to talk about it. But everyone needs to have the money conversation at some point when wedding planning. We’re talking about budgets in this episode and the need for contingency plans!

Who’s paying for what? And have you thought about how much control that may give a particular person over that aspect of your wedding? Avoid the BIG BUT’s (as we like to call them) and have the difficult money talk to set expectations. Tune in to hear why communication is key!

Don’t assume anything when it comes to wedding budgets and who may be paying for what. We all know what happens when you assume, right? Tune in to this episode to hear why you should create a budget and have open, honest and frank discussions up front.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL UNDERSTAND/LEARN/DISCOVER/FIND OUT: 

  • DISCOVER - How having an open, honest and frank discussion with friends and family about your wedding budget will save miscommunication later.
  • UNDERSTAND - Why, no matter how big or how small, you have to have a wedding budget clearly defined.
  • LEARN - To set wedding budget expectations so no one’s feelings get hurt.

Share your budget tips, tools, successes and mishaps with us! Tag us on Facebook or Instagram @theringtheblingandallthethings 

Connect with the hosts:

Kristina Stubblefield - www.kristinastubblefield.com or www.soinmediagroup.com
social media @kristinastubblefield_ or @soinmediagroup

Sharon Rumsey, A Perfect Plan Events www.aperfectplanevents.com 
social media @aperfectplankentuckiana

Michael Gaddie, Lloyd’s Florist  www.lloydsflorist.net  
social media @lloydsflorist

*Please note - all episodes of The Ring The Bling and All The Things are pre-recorded and might not reflect the timeframe of release date. 

Transcript

Michael Gaddie  0:00 

It stinks. And no one likes to talk about it.

Sharon Rumsey  0:03 

Who's paying for what? And have you thought about how much control that gives a particular person over that aspect of your wedding?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  0:09 

Avoid the big butts as we like to call them and hurt feelings by having the difficult money talk.

 

Michael Gaddie  0:15 

Don't assume anything. Tune in to hear why communication is so important.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  0:21 

You got engaged. Now what? Happy? Yes, joyful time, of course, stressed and overwhelmed. 100%. Don't worry, you're in the right place. Welcome to the ring, the blink and all the things where we will get you from down on one knee to down the aisle. We'll cover all things from yes to I do's and all that happens in between. Hi, I'm Kristina Stubblefield, one of your hosts, along with my two good friends, Michael Gaddy. And Sharon Rumsey. With over 50 years of wedding experience between us. We have seen it, heard it, done it and found a way around it. So buckle up and enjoy the journey. Now, let's get started with this episode.

 

Okay, Sharon, I think you're gonna lead the way on this one. Every wedding has a budget, you just mentioned it. All right, talk us through this a little bit get us started on this topic.

 

Sharon Rumsey  1:34 

I know it stinks. I know, nobody likes to talk about money. I know it's uncomfortable. But every wedding has a budget, you have to have a budget. That budget might be $500, that budget might be $100,000. But every wedding has a budget, it has to have a budget has to have a budget

 

Kristina Stubblefield  1:52 

has to have a budget. Okay, this is a serious topic, but we're gonna have fun with the chair and keep going.

 

Sharon Rumsey  2:01 

It's hard to have fun talking about money, the one thing nobody wants to talk about. But what I tell my couples when they hire me is you have to talk about it. And I really recommend that you sit down with your families. And if you plan on them contributing, you sit down with your families, and you just have that discussion in the beginning have a good open, honest, frank discussion. What is your budget? What is each person willing and able to contribute? Who's paying for what? And when those people are paying for items? How much say so? and control are they going to have over that aspect of the wedding?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  2:39 

And really what you're saying there is you're setting the expectation. So nobody's feelings get hurt. You're not just going down a rabbit hole that? Well, I just automatically assumed they were going to help. You're basically trying to avoid that. And you're saying the sooner the better, right?

 

Sharon Rumsey  2:57 

Absolutely. Because what happens if you don't have the discussion, and then it does come time to make decisions and to choose your venue and choose your vendors is you don't really know what you have to spend. And you don't want to get your feelings hurt or hurt someone else's feelings because you assumed everybody knows what they say about assume, right? So you just you want to make sure that everything's open and honest and out on the table. So that when it comes time to make your wedding decisions, you are going in and making informed decisions.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:30 

Mike, is that your take on this too? You're staying off a quiet over there.

 

Michael Gaddie  3:33 

Yes, everybody. You should not assume

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:36 

Mike's trying to be funny. He's just waiting to be able to chime in on some good part. Mike's

 

Sharon Rumsey  3:41 

an artist he is creative. He

 

Michael Gaddie  3:44 

doesn't like to think about well, I'm gonna talk about budget, but but there are certain things that a bride's family takes care of, and there's a certain things that the groom's family takes care of.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  3:57 

Are you assuming? Are you saying no?

 

Michael Gaddie  4:00 

Traditionally speaking?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:03  

Okay, sorry, might have to give us some more explanation on this but go right ahead, Mike go on.

 

Michael Gaddie  4:07 

Well, for an example. Normally, normally, the groom's family takes care of the rehearsal dinner. Now I don't know about any other contracts out there but for example on Mac

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:25 

I tell you what, you all have to make sure you go and look at some kind of picture or contact because the looks that I'm getting from over here on one side of me from Sharon, is she's just waiting to just pounce on everything that Mike is saying I can feel the tension building but Mike going down this rabbit hole so let's see what Sharon has.

 

Sharon Rumsey  4:46 

No I love you friend, but I'm not sure I agree with you. Yeah, okay.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  4:50 

Are you our first episode? All right, Mike.

 

Michael Gaddie  4:55 

So I mean, I don't know what everybody else's contracts but My contract, the groom's family is responsible for the bridal bouquet, all the boutonnieres and corsages except for the groom's and the rehearsal dinner. If they do that through us, that's not always but on my contract, it's split up into different prices.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  5:22 

Now, let's say this though, because at the beginning of this, you didn't really say, for those out there who might not be familiar with what Michael does, he owns a Lloyd's florists. So he's speaking on behalf of a florist. Okay. And Sharon is a wedding planner, wedding coordinator, wedding officiant auto, we can just keep going. So

 

Michael Gaddie  5:47 

we kind of skipped over that. So,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  5:49 

but I want to make sure they understand when you're saying your contract, you're saying it from a florist perspective?

 

Michael Gaddie  5:55 

That is correct. Okay, thank you. So we got that we got that clear. Now,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  5:59 

that's clear. Help me, help me out here, Sharon, cuz I feel like this just radiant heat over here, you're ready to pounce on every word he just said. And I'm hearing a lot of tradition traditional, and how much traditional still exist out there.

 

Sharon Rumsey  6:18 

I totally understand what Mike is saying. And when I took my classes, and I took my wedding traditions class, they did talk about what is traditionally paid for by the groom's family and traditionally paid for by the bride's family

 

Kristina Stubblefield  6:32 

feel a big but coming,

 

Sharon Rumsey  6:34 

there's a but so some families still follow those traditions and do those things. But here's my big butt, Michael. Sometimes, there, there's no family contribution at all, sometimes families aren't able to contribute. Sometimes it's an older couple that have been out working on their own and have their own ideas, and they're gonna pay for their own wedding. So that again, I think it just leads back to that discussion and deciding who's going to pay for what and if you want to stick to what's traditionally done, that's awesome. And you're going to have a lot of help and support from your family. But if you don't have that help and support from your family, or your family's not able to contribute, or you're an older couple, then I still think you need to have the discussion and decide what works for you and your individual situation.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  7:24 

And that really sets you up for better wedding planning. Because you've got clear, concise budget, because that is a key factor in everything. And it goes back to every wedding has a budget. And one of the things I want to talk about is we're not saying high budget, we're not saying low budget, we're saying all budgets here because if you start with that number, you have a starting point.

 

Sharon Rumsey  7:51 

Well, and I'm actually going to work from that number. It's not the first question I asked when I get hired, but it's definitely in my top five, because that number is going to then tell me what vendors to take you to what venues to take you to. So I feel like it's just really, really important. I've met with couples before and, you know, back to Mike's tradition, where the the bride's parents Well, the tradition not just Michaels tradition, but where the bride's family you guys will notice when I get irritated with my keys, Michael, but you'll was the bridesmaid or percent of the time,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  8:28 

I was gonna say 99.7

 

Sharon Rumsey  8:32 

when the bride's family is going to pay, I have been in a situation where I've sat across from a father of the bride who tells me, this is my little girl, get her what she wants, there is no budget. But I guarantee you when I start showing him invoices, there's gonna be a budget, he's gonna come up with a number,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  8:48 

you need to know that number, whether it is $10,000 or $100,000. And I'm not saying there can't be weddings out there for 5000 I was just pulling out some numbers out of there. Michael, let's go over to you. Do you does this come up a lot when people meet with you for their

 

Michael Gaddie  9:07 

floral every time it comes up? Okay, Sharon's brought me quite a few brides and grooms and couples. That's usually not the first question that I ask is What is your budget because I don't want to cramp their style. And what I mean by that is I want them to tell me everything they want me to supply for them. Then at the end, and Sharon can say this is at the end I'll say, Okay, we've got everything added up because our my computer as I put it in will added up for me and give me a total. So at the end I say Okay, guys, do you all have a budget? And I'm asking a yes or no question either. Yes, I do or no I don't. A lot of time, especially when sharing brings them to me. They do have a budget. But a lot of times they'll say, No, I don't have a budget. So, so anyway, what I, what I don't want to do is cramp their style, like I said, because if their budget was $6,000, and say my invoice came in at $4,000, well, then guess what, I've got that sale, because I was way under budget. But if their budget is $4,000, and I come in at $6,000, then there's ways that we can, you know, approve, you know, improve what we've done, we can adjust the prices. And, but 99.9% of the time, I probably shouldn't say this, but everything we've put on that paper they want. So they have a hard time, you know, cutting things off. But for an example, like a bribe we had recently together, you know, it was a little over their budget. But you know, they have until two weeks before on my contract, to to pay the balance. So by two weeks before, you may have 50, or 60 less guests than you had today. So then then then your table numbers come down. So then that's going to drop your budget,

 

Sharon Rumsey  11:16 

I think to my job as a planner is to educate them. Before we start shopping our vendor team and tell them about, you know how much money they should expect to spend on each different category of their wedding. And also to help guide those appointments. You know, we when Mike and I do an appointment together, I tell my bride before we go, this is how the appointment is going to work. I want you to tell him your dream. Then, if we need to cut some things, we will we'll figure out what's the least important. But I want you to tell him your dream because 99% of the time, he comes in at either right around what they're thinking they're going to spend or even a little bit less, if not, like he said when we start cutting, everything's important to them, or they wouldn't have brought it up in the first place. That's when it gets tricky.

 

Michael Gaddie  12:08 

Well, and when you're for an example, on my part, when it comes to the, to the money part, usually my budget is anywhere from eight to 10% of your total budget. That's more of a reality. And I know that Sharon tells her couples that you know, your budget needs to be about eight to 10% of your total budget. Well, then they've got an already an idea,

 

Kristina Stubblefield  12:30 

your floral budget, your floral budget, right?

 

Michael Gaddie  12:33 

The thing about it too, is I don't usually know what their budget is. And that's why I just go gun forth and say, Okay, show me what you want, we go through it. And like she said, and most the time, we're pretty close. But if not, we can adjust some things. We don't want to cramp anybody's style, because she wants a certain thing, and she can't afford it. Because that's one thing, I always say we're going to make your budget for you. We're going to we're going to

 

Kristina Stubblefield  13:00 

fit everything you can to fit your budget today. And then

 

Sharon Rumsey  13:04 

again, that's where choosing that good vendor team, which we've talked about so much comes into play. Because if you if you have a professional that's done this for a long time, and whether it be florals or catering or anything, they can usually work with a budget they're given and make something happen. That's good.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  13:22 

Okay, so talking about budgets, let's talk about what are the top things? What are the top most expensive things no matter what your budget is? Do you can you tell me what the top three things that come to your mind is?

 

Sharon Rumsey  13:38 

Usually, it the most expensive thing is food? The second most expensive thing is alcohol. Sometimes they're a really close match. It just depends on what

 

Kristina Stubblefield  13:50 

you're doing. You choose if you're making it, you're paying for it. You're making it available, not a cash bar, correct. Okay, correct.

 

Sharon Rumsey  13:57 

Okay. And then the third thing is usually your venue?

 

Kristina Stubblefield  14:02 

Well, I think that's really good tips, because people might not be considering that. And I know you've always mentioned, you know, looking down the list, and when you start talking about wedding planning, laying out on a sheet of paper, what's important to you, that way, you can start moving things around adjusting, even before you've hired any team member to be part of your wedding day. So knowing those budgets. So let's talk about you mentioned food versus venue. And I think this might surprise some people. Let's talk about that. Because I think in a lot of people's mind, in my mind would have been the venue would have been more than the catering.

 

Sharon Rumsey  14:47 

It depends on what caterer you choose.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  14:49 

But what type of food you're having, what type of food you're

 

Sharon Rumsey  14:51 

having. Whether you're having, you know, so many things come into play with catering. How many how many waitstaff Are you going to need is it Is it buffet that all goes into play. But, you know, I've seen caterers be as low as 11 to $12 a person, and I've done catering that was over $70 a person, you have to just, you know, know where you're shopping, know what you want, and then factor that in. So usually, I would say, the average wedding and livable and I have to credit Mike for this. Because when I first started, definitely budgets were my weakest point. When I first I was a great wedding planner, but I wasn't a great wedding budgeter, I had to do a lot of education on that, because it was a weak spot for me. But Mike, he taught me about the floral budget being eight to 10%. And then just got me thinking about how do I break these things down into percentages for my couples. And so I really have done, you know, a lot of record keeping and keeping track. So the average wedding in Louisville. Well, in Kentucky, Indiana, let's not just say level, but the average wedding cost about 30 to $35,000. So if you look at that wedding, the average catering bill is probably going to be about 30 to $35 a person.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  16:14 

So that makes an interesting point. So in different areas, number talk, here we go. We're trying to keep it fun. But in different areas of the US or where people could be listening, listening to us from we're talking about Louisville, Kentucky, where we're close

 

Sharon Rumsey  16:30 

to cards.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  16:32 

She just did she just do that.

 

Sharon Rumsey  16:34  

I do love me. So

 

Kristina Stubblefield  16:34 

you're trying you're trying to play, she's trying to keep it less serious. But in other areas of the United States, what you're saying is, if you're getting married in Nashville, Tennessee, or Miami, Florida, you can't go off those same estimated numbers that you're talking about.

 

Sharon Rumsey  16:51 

I actually listened to a podcast, a podcast, I actually listened to one who is a wedding planner in Southern California. And when I hear her talk, I just oh my gosh, her her numbers. And her wedding budgets are unreal, what it's because of where she is.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  17:07 

And that's something to bring up because people do destination, weddings, and things like that. So the different areas, you have to plan accordingly. So Michael, what have you heard out there, you've been in the business long enough, what comes to mind for you, in regards to budgets as separate from florals?

 

Michael Gaddie  17:25 

Well, you've got to be just like Sharon was just saying, it's the, it depends on what your priorities are. Some people may not care if they only have hors d'oeuvres. Some people may care more about the venue itself. But you know, if you've got a nice venue, you're probably gonna have pretty nice food to go along with it. But if you are getting married in a barn, which is very popular right now, your that's not going to be on your the higher priority of your venue. But you may have more priority on food, so your budget is a little higher. So every wedding is a little different in every way. It just depends on again, coming up with your total budget that you want to spend. And then you take that total amount, and split it up into ways that's prioritized to you.

 

Sharon Rumsey  18:21 

To help guide that budget conversation, I actually have a couple of questionnaires that I do with my brides. That there I call them getting to know you questionnaires. And we talk about what's most important to them. It's anything you know, on this questionnaire from what's your favorite snack? Is it savory? Is it sweet? Is it salty? Like what's your favorite date night? And and asking those kind of questions, I can get to know them a little better. And I can figure out what's probably going to be important to them. And then when we actually start talking about the wedding itself, I say if you had to pick one thing, what's the most important aspect of this wedding, some might say music, some might say decor, you know, people will always you know, usually if I just send that out to the client to fill out which I had to do during COVID. I couldn't have in person meetings, I would get it back and it would say experience. And that's great. But let's really talk about it. Let's break it down. Let's break it down. So you want everyone to have a great experience? What is it? What is that? What makes a great experience to you? And when you really start asking those questions to couples, not only is it fun, and I get to know them better, but I also find out where I need to focus their budget. If you know if we need to juggle some things we can let some unimportant things to them go while we focus on those more important things.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  19:34 

And I think one of the things that I have had conversations with people is once the day has come and gone, what are you left with? And I think a lot of times people overlook that photography aspect, the floral aspect of it. Those florals are in your and I'm not just saying that Michael because you're sitting here, but those are in your pictures. Those become your memories. A lot of times I have seen people not do a videographer. And some not even have a family member, you know, record it on just a video record right

 

Sharon Rumsey  20:14 

magazine actually did a survey last year, and they ask brides what their biggest regret from their wedding is. And the number one regret was not having a videographer.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  20:25 

And I've seen some of those come back not using a professional photographer. Yeah, you cannot redo those shots you cannot read. You just we talked about it before. You can't. There's no reduce, so to speak in that. And I think getting drilled down to what's your all's personality? What's important to you? All? Yes, people are going to be guests at your event. You want them to have a good time. But this is your experience your memories? And what how do you picture that? Oh, Michaels looking serious? What's wrong?

 

Michael Gaddie  20:59 

No. I mean, I'm just when, again, like I said, you know, they're everybody has their own priorities that is important to them. And most of the time, I'll have people I've had, I'm going to say it because I've got brides coming to me. And this is a big turnoff for me, but I understand, they'll sit down and say, I'm gonna be honest with you, Mike, but I could care less about flowers. And then I have to turn their attitude around and say, okay, but think about this is gonna be in your pictures, you're going to remember this for the rest of your life, you're gonna you know, these are this is almost like the backdrop of it.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  21:37 

It's basically kind of setting the tone.

 

Michael Gaddie  21:40 

Yeah, when they walk in, and and some say, you know, I didn't think of it that way. And then some says, well, it's still not a priority, because my sister or my aunt's gonna do my tip my pictures anyway. So again, that is where different things are different priorities for everybody.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  21:56 

And I'm gonna plug this episode one if you did not catch it, on the F word. And that is what is that Sharon? friender springers make sure you go back and watch it. But you know, I think Sharon, you really said it, you have to spend that uncomfortable time having the conversation, do it soon as possible to do it first. Get it out of the way, you've cleared the air, you know, who in the family, the bride's family groom's family, who is going to help with that budget. Or if it's a second marriage, or if like you mentioned, you're going to pay for it yourself, then, you know, you're not going to say boundaries, but you know, your spending limit. Um, one of the things I want to tie into this with budget, using a wedding planner, or coordinator, when you know what that budget is, and you know, what's most important to them, you know, different vendors that you can professionals that you can go to, that this might not be as important to you. But this is still a professional that offers a different type of service. And I think for people to realize that is having that guidance of a wedding planner, and Mike, I'm not leaving you out as a florist, having that guidance, because you too, did his horn earlier. So I'm gonna choose your region that Okay, no problem.

 

Unknown Speaker  23:25 

No problem.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  23:26 

I'm still not gonna do the tooting noises. But you mentioned that earlier about Mike. And I think it's important to realize that guidance that a wedding planner, a wedding planner, or what other word Am I looking for igniter quarter, thank you, I've said it so many times, is helped guide you and give you options, options, especially when you're talking about budgeting. Sometimes

 

Sharon Rumsey  23:51 

when I have clients that are really working on a tight budget, you know, they'll say to me, Well, hiring you is another expense, I really want a wedding coordinator, but hiring us another expense. And I get that, but I kind of pride myself on, I hope that I will save my clients almost as much as they paid me by knowing where to send them by bringing in the right team. Being a being a wedding planner is kind of like, I tell him like this all the time. It's like being a coach. So if I draft the right players, if I get the right wedding team in there, when we come to Game Day, wedding day, it's automatic, it's gonna happen. I don't have to worry about it. Because I've got the right people doing their jobs. They're doing what they do. So just knowing where to direct those people and also being able to as a wedding planner to look at a contract and saying, we don't have to pay this. We're not going to pay that. Or, you know, yes, we can pay your caterer to rent your linens, but I know exactly how they're who they're going to call to rent them from and they're going to upcharge you so let me rent your linens and I'll go pick them up. You know, so Those kind of little things where I can save money along the way if I need to is a huge help. So

 

Kristina Stubblefield  25:07 

being able to navigate those waters and give them options, you

 

Sharon Rumsey  25:10 

know, Mike and I met with a bride today and we were talking about, she had her venue and her caterer before she, before she had me. And she said, I didn't know. I didn't know what to say no to. You don't know what you don't. But had I been able to be at that meeting with her? We would have made different decisions. But you did take her contract. And you did help her? I did?

 

Michael Gaddie  25:34 

I did. That was a positive thing. Yeah.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  25:36 

That's a really good point about the contracts, Michael, because a lot of times, if you're not familiar with doing weddings, how many times do people just take me up, I'm gonna sign right here. And let's go every time,

 

Michael Gaddie  25:47 

every time, every time somebody does that, read the fine, but when you have a wedding planner coordinator that works with the same people a lot over and over and over, they, she knows what the rules are. And, you know, she just gets gets everything taken care of in a smooth way, compared Mike

 

Sharon Rumsey  26:07 

and I work together so much that I always tease him that if I knew more about flowers, I could do one of his appointments. But I don't know anything about flowers. So I can't, but I literally know how to do your job, too. Okay.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  26:22 

Here we go. But you know what you bring up a very valid point as somebody to help you navigate those contracts, making sure and what we have going on right now, which we talked about in our last episode, with the pandemic, definitely no better time to make sure you know what that fine print is, in case you do have to make adjustments you have to pivot, there has to be changes that are not controllable. That find Brent, it's really important to have somebody on your team to take care. And we're

 

Michael Gaddie  26:53 

actually dealing with that right now. We are and I feel sorry for the couple because they're they've had to make a lot of tough decisions. And, you know, going back on everyone's contract, not just mine, but you know, five or six different contracts that Sharon's looking over, and making sure that she comes out fair. And also the vendor coming out fair to with because I mean, all of us are dealing with stress during all the COVID stuff.

 

Sharon Rumsey  27:24 

Absolutely. And I don't want to misrepresent wedding planners, my job is certainly not to try and negotiate prices down or anything like that. I think most wedding professionals are worth every penny they charge. So it's not that it's just knowing what you have to have in half to pay for and what we can let go.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  27:42 

Well, there's no sense of doubling up if you're, if you're getting it from another person, right. They're not paying attention to that.

 

Michael Gaddie  27:48 

Well, that's one reason what a while like working with Sharon is, you know, I have some planners that come in to my store, and they're actually telling me what the bride wants. No, I don't I don't feel good with that. Sharon lets the bride talk. Tell Mike what you want. Not Sharon said no, you don't need that. No, she she was she would never do that. I do have wedding coordinators that do that. But I'm not my wedding. I don't feel like the wedding planners. part's not

 

Sharon Rumsey  28:20 

my wedding, I've had my wedding.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  28:21 

Yeah. And I don't take from what you were just saying that you're trying to play a negotiator in it, you're just trying to make sure your client is protected. And that you read that entire contract and understand it all. And

 

Sharon Rumsey  28:36 

I work with most of my clients 18 months, at the very least usually a year. I really know them. I know their family. When I walk in there. I know the budget, I know who's paying for what I know how much help they have. And so when I walk in my job is certainly not to negotiate Mike's prices, his prices are fair, and he's worth every penny. My job is to make sure that my client gets a gets what she's thinking for a fair price. And you know, that's why I like to honestly I like to work with the same vendors, you know, all the time if I can, because I do have that relationship not only with the bride, but with the vendor. And I know what their contracts going to say. And I know, I know, walking in about what I'm going, what the price is going to be at the end.

 

Michael Gaddie  29:24 

So I think that's really important. But you know, and with the budget, like we said at the beginning, if you come up with a budget at the beginning and also make the decision on who is paying for what if both, that's the parents are sitting down together. It goes a lot smoother, because you would not believe how many times the broad and inner mom comes in and says, well, the groom's taking care of this. Well and then they want me to call the bride's mom or the groom's mom and tell her that okay, this is your half. Well, that's not really the way it should be. I mean that's starting off on the wrong foot. But if you Have a family conversation, like you said, and get it out in the open and done. It makes the whole wedding planning year or six months, however you're long.

 

Sharon Rumsey  30:10 

So want to really talk about how much you know, because someone is paying for something? Are they in control of that?

 

Unknown Speaker  30:18 

I think that's a really good

 

Sharon Rumsey  30:19 

lesson I learned my husband calls it stupid tax. When I first started, I would only have the person who paid me signed my contract. Usually that was the mother of the bride. So if the mother of the bride and the bride disagreed on something, I would have the mother the bride, call me up and say, I paid you. This is what I want you to do. But that's not what my bride wanted. So now I my contract has the parents signature as well as the bride signature and the groom signature, because everyone is going to have a say so. So say that the mother the bride is paying for all your florals. And you go in and you pick and he, he's gonna have to give me flower names piano, and he's the only one I know. And I think I say it wrong. But anyway, that's what you love. But the your mom, she hates those, you know?

 

Unknown Speaker  31:14 

So she's saying whether you have any other flower other than see, she's

 

Sharon Rumsey  31:16 

gonna say, Well, I'm paying for so so you have to talk about, you know, thank you for your help. I love you. And I appreciate you. But please let this be my day. Or you have 10 years.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  31:27 

Here's what I'm interested in. This is what I like, have those conversations, and I've

 

Sharon Rumsey  31:31 

had like mothers that think they're helping and they'll go out and I bought your flower girl dress today. But they haven't showed it to the bride and the bride doesn't like it. You know? So happens all the time. Exactly.

 

Michael Gaddie  31:42 

And I will get the statement from the mom while I'm the one paying for it.

 

Sharon Rumsey  31:47 

Oh, I've heard it. Yeah, I

 

Michael Gaddie  31:48 

mean, I hate that for the bride. And I mean, I've had you know Broughton moms get out duke it out right there

 

Sharon Rumsey  31:55 

where it really gets uncomfortable to if it's like the parents of the groom, who are paying say for rehearsal dinner. And maybe, I don't know, the bride wants a speakeasy barbini vibe for her rehearsal dinner. Parents of the green might not drink. You know, those conversations have to be had.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  32:19 

Very good point. It is. And this might not be the most upbeat topic, but one of the one of the most important topics. That's what we're trying to do here,

 

Sharon Rumsey  32:31 

get it out of the way then have a good time.

 

Kristina Stubblefield  32:33 

But that is exactly what we're trying to do. And our goals with the podcast is help talk about these topics, share information, tips, tricks that can help your entire wedding experience planning the actual event itself. Much easier for everyone, family, friends, the couple everyone. So thank you very much for tuning in to the ring, the bling in all the things we hope that you'll make sure you follow us on your favorite podcast software. Sharon, Mike, any closing statements regarding budgeting?

 

Michael Gaddie  33:13 

My closing

 

Sharon Rumsey  33:15 

remark is make sure you have a budget to have the conversation. Have the conversation

 

Kristina Stubblefield  33:19 

shoot suit. Every wedding has a budget. Until next time, stay safe.

 

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the ring doubling and all the things. If you like what you heard, make sure to hit the subscribe button to get notified of upcoming episodes. You can also visit our website, the ring, the bling and all the things.com for past episodes, and make sure to connect with us on social media. If you would like to help us get the word out about this podcast. Make sure to share with your family, your friends and anyone you know in the wedding business.

 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai